Page 46 of The Doctor and the Devil
“No,” I admitted. “I admire mothers and I like children, but I always enjoyed my freedom and felt too much like a mother to my work to want the responsibility. I suppose you think me selfish, though, for thinking more highly of my profession than of my biological abilities.”
“Certainly not,” he replied. “The impact you’ve had on countless lives could never be seen as selfish when it is as much of a sacrifice as it is. You never put yourself first, Mina, even when you should logically.”
I smirked. Charlotte had said similar things to me over the course of our friendship, but I always brushed them off.
“I don’t find it logical to weigh my life as more important than the lives of others,” I said.
“It is to me,” he said softly, pulling me in for a searing kiss. When he pulled away, he swallowed thickly and caressed my cheek. “Mina, when this is all over, do you think…”
His words were cut off by a knock at the bedroom door, and the frustration in his eyes was powerful. I couldn’t be sure if I was devastated or relieved that he hadn’t managed to say whatever it was.
“Monsieur, Mademoiselle, dinner is being served in the dining room,” one of the housekeepers said through the door. “My lady requests your presence.”
The faintest flicker of hope on Rafael’s face evaporated, replaced by his seductive, charming grin. I wondered if I’d imagined the expression.
“Yes, thank you,” he told the housekeeper. “We’ll be along shortly.”
Rafael was already sliding out of bed, and my cheeks heated at the sight of his naked body.Dieu,he was beautiful.
Throwing a saucy glance over his shoulder as he tugged his breeches on, he offered, “It’ll keep.”
I frowned, certain that whatever it was, it had been important. I started to protest, but there was another knock at the door. Annoyed by yet another interruption, I stomped over to answer it.
“Oh, Mina!” Daphne exclaimed, tugging me into the hall before I could express my surprise.
“What are you doing?” I huffed. “I was just about to get dressed!”
“Excellent. I have something special for you to wear this evening, given what we’re all about to undertake,” Daphne said. “Don’t worry. I rather think you’ll enjoy this. It’s incredibly practical.”
She led me back to my guest room and gestured at the pile of black laying on the bed.
“Daphne.” I blinked in confusion. “You’re certain that’s for me? That looks more like something Rafael would wear.”
“Don’t dismiss it just yet. Both Charlotte and I have worn breeches before, and they can be remarkably liberating. She still tends to prefer gowns, but I’ve always rather loved the feeling of breeches on my legs.”
Atop the black buckskin breeches lay a soft, black chemise and black leather waistcoat that was positively bedecked with pockets.
“Daphne, these aremen’sclothes,” I scoffed. “Why are you and Charlotte forever trying to dress me in things that are not my preference? If it isn’t bloody ballgowns, it’s breeches.”
I hadn’t told Daphne or Charlotte—or anyone, except Rafael—that I’d dressed as a man for the entirety of my medical education. Those clothes had been baggy, shapeless, and brown and had hidden me from the eyes of every disinterested student and every pompous professor. Memories flooded back; binding my breasts every morning, sneaking baths in a nearby pond at midnight, hiding everything from everyone for two difficult years.
The thick black cloak and the black tricorne hat on the edge of the bed were at least sensible, but decidedly a more masculine cut than I would have liked. When I picked them up and turned back to Daphne to further complain, the lightness in her expression was gone.
“Mina, tonight is one of the most dangerous missions we’ve ever undertaken. You’ve already been kidnapped once before, despite having some of the most powerful friends in France. If Rafael hadn’t found you…I shudder to think what the Order would have done. It’s clear to me that they will stop at nothing to get what they want and I…I feel quite betrayed. I’m so sorry,ma chère amie. I fear it’s our friendship that has put you in jeopardy, and I cannot forgive myself for that. Especially after everything you did for Étienne and me—and Charlotte, of course,” she said, suddenly quiet beneath the weight of her memories. She turned fierce eyes upon me, and they glittered with supernatural, predatory power.
“Nothing will happen to you tonight,” she insisted. “We are all watching out for you and ready to protect you, but you’re the only one who can help Laszlo if he’s been injured or drugged—or worse. You’re not an agent, it’s true, but you’re smart and strong and brave. These clothes are simply another layer of protection. You’re less likely to be recognized dressed as a man, and if you are, these garments are equipped with various means of protection.”
“I won’t use weapons, Daphne,” I frowned. “I appreciate what you’re offering, but it goes against everything I believe in as a physician. I only want to heal people—not take lives.”
A wry smile quirked the corner of her lips up.
“I thought you might say that,” she said, crossing the room to empty the pockets of the waistcoat. “And so, I have provided you with many non-violent and non-lethal alternatives.”
She pulled a series of vials from one pocket. “These are fairly standard. Deadly nightshade, hemlock, various concentrations of opium, and quicksilver, just in case the Order has hired vampire guards. I’m certain you remember how harmful mercury can be to blood plague sufferers. The amount here isn’t enough to kill, but it’s enough to make one rather ill.”
She reached into another of the waistcoat’s pockets. “Here we have three small wooden stakes and two small daggers—evenly balanced for throwing, but without the practice, you might just want to hold onto them. Now, don’t look at me like that, Mina, these aren’t just for stabbing. Should you find yourself bound, they can be quite handy in cutting ropes. In the other pouch here, there’s a garrote, my personal favorite, you know, because you can strangle someone without killing them. I know you already know how to render a person unconscious thanks to your thorough medical knowledge, but these options will help.”
From yet another pocket, she produced the smallest flintlock pistol I’d ever seen. “This beauty is a new design. Small caliber, short range. If you don’t want to kill anyone with it, I trust you know where to aim. Bullets, wadding, and gunpowder are in the pocket just to the left of it. Now, in this last pocket, I’ve created something of a miniature doctor’s kit for you. Plenty of healing salves—your own recipes, of course—clean linen bandages, forceps, tweezers, a magnifying glass, scalpel. If there are other things you find you’ll need in an emergency, do let me know and I’ll have them added to any future clothing.”
