Page 50 of The Assassin and the Libertine
“I want what I’ve always wanted,” I answered. “The truth.”
He turned to face me, raising his fingertips to my cheek.
“Is that all?” he murmured.
“Yes,” I whispered, leaning into the feel of him.No. I don’t want to live in fear of Henri’s return. I want to be able to sleep at night without dreaming of your hands on me. I want to feel like I was something to you.
He chuckled. “Liar.”
I shut my eyes against the truth of his words.
“We will get to the truth,” he said, taking a step closer to me. His legs brushed against my skirts. “Daphne…whatever happens, you will be safe from Henri. I swear it.”
“And then?” I asked.
He swallowed. “And then you will go back to The Order and continue your life as an agent. I will go back to my duties as emissary, trying to convince the king to see reason, trying to convince the court to accept the blood plague as our new reality. We’ll go back to work, Daphne, and Jeanne’s spirit will be at peace.”
His words formed an ache in my chest that spread through my entire body.But why? Isn’t that exactly what I wanted?I knew it wasn’t—not anymore.
“What if that’s not enough?” I whispered.
Étienne sighed. “Daphne, it has to be. You’re a smart woman. You understand what it would take for us to be together. I’m immortal—eternal. I will not watch you wither away with age and die, and I hardly think you’re leaping at the chance to sacrifice a lifetime of sunrises on me. You must understand. It’s better this way.”
A sharp pain chased the ache away, followed by an overwhelming numbness. I swallowed back tears I didn’t want him to see. He was right. Even entertaining the idea of there being something more between us made me feel foolish. What was I expecting? I didn’t just want a passing fancy, but the reality was we couldn’t be anything more.
I swallowed and nodded. The look of anguish in Étienne’s face nearly unraveled me. I turned to head back inside, but he caught my arm and pulled me to him.
“Daphne, I wish it could be another way,” he said, wrapping his arms around me. “I won’t dishonor you by asking you for more, but you must know you were never just another conquest to me.”
He tilted my chin up and set his lips to mine. There was no lightness to the kiss, just the untamed unleashing of need and a thousand shades of passion. His arms around my waist tightened and I clung to him, holding on as if I were adrift in a storm. I pressed him back against the stone balcony railing, painting my body against his.
He groaned against my lips. “Daphne, I can’t—mon Dieu—I can’t do this. I can’t keep doing this. I have to let you go.”
But his hold on me tightened, and his lips found mine again, and the only time he paused was to feather kisses against my cheeks, jaw, and neck. His arousal pressed against my belly, sending fire straight to my core.
“Why do you have to?” I panted against him, nearly faint with desire.
He pulled away to look at me, staring hard into my eyes. “Because, Duchesse, you are not mine.”
He tilted his head down to resume the kiss, his lips inches from mine, when a rough voice called my name. The look in Étienne’s eyes went cold. At the interruption, I froze, panic snapping my mouth shut. I straightened and backed away from him.
“Daphne!” Philippe called again. “Daphne, Charlotte needs you, darling. Over there. Now, please.” He pulled me firmly away from Étienne. “She was most insistent.”
The look in Philippe’s eyes was murderous. I burned with embarrassment at being caught, but Étienne stood straight andnarrowed his gaze at Philippe. A heavy silence descended upon the three of us.
“Daphne,” Philippe prodded. “She said it was important.”
I nodded and stepped back toward the ballroom. Étienne bowed stiffly at Philippe and followed me.
“I believe the ladies would like to be alone,” Philippe said, staying Étienne with a hand on his arm. Étienne glared, but let me go.
Rather than get in the middle of whatever unpleasant altercation seemed about to take place between them, I hurried inside the palace, searching for Charlotte.
The candlelit corridors blurred as I careened forward, quietly calling for her. Finally, a door cracked open, revealing a thin stream of amber light. A familiar head poked out and beckoned to me.
“Daphne! Come here! I’ve found the library!” Charlotte ducked back inside the room and quickly closed the door behind me.
I ripped my mask off, throwing it onto a desk beside Charlotte’s bat mask and crumpled into a nearby chair. Seeing my pink cheeks and breathless manner, Charlotte threw her head back and laughed.
