Page 120 of The Life Daisy Devlin Designed
“I know. I’m sorry. Laura didn’t know where you were but she gave me Fionn’s number. He told me the fucking rescue services were being ...” James clenched his jaw.
Daisy realised he wasn’t angry – he was upset. He knew about the rescue.
“He said a few of you went out to Granary House tonight.”
Daisy looked at him. “Matt invited us out. He thought Fionn could meet Kayley. And I had some business to finish up with him.”
“Right.” James’ voice was flat. “Are you hurt?”
Not physically, she thought, shaking her head. “I should go to bed. We can talk in the morning.”
“I’d prefer to talk now. Please?”
Oh God, this was it. Daisy folded her arms. “Are we over?”
“I don’t know, Daisy. You tell me.”
She curled her fingers hard into her sides. “You left, James. In a bloody sulk.”
His jaw tightened. “You lied to me! How do you think that made me feel?”
“How would I know how you feel anymore, James? All you do is work. We don’t talk, we don’t hang out – webarelyhave sex. You seem to hate visiting my family. We never see yours!”
“You can go and see Mum and Dad whenever you want. I’m not stopping you.”
Daisy opened her mouth to say she wasn’t comfortable visiting James’ parents on her own, when she was so unsure about her and James as a couple. Especially as the last time they’d been there, his dad had asked if they were ever going to have “a day out”.
At the time, James had seemed annoyed by the question, so she’d laughed it off. Privately, she’d wished they’d at least talked about it.
“Do you blame me for working the way I’ve had to?” James demanded. “TakeOff was struggling, it’s still struggling!” He dug a hand through his hair. “I was talking to Mike and Ciara today. They’re sorry about what happened, but they’re worried about their own jobs.”
“I didn’t know things were that bad,” Daisy admitted. “You should have said something.”
“What could you have done?” James raised his voice. “Anyway, you’re so competitive, I didn’t want you to think …”
Daisy folded her arms. “You didn’t want me to think what?”
James’ eyes slid away, and when he spoke again, he sounded utterly defeated.
“I didn’t want you to think that I was a loser.”
“I don’t think you’re a loser.” Daisy struggled to take everything in. “And I’m notthatcompetitive!”
He looked at her. “Yes, you are! You never seem to want to talk about normal stuff: you just quiz me about work. Or you go on about that award you want to win. Which you probably will, one of these days. But if you don’t, will your life actually fall apart?” He pushed a hand roughly through his hair, causing bits of it to stand up. “Wouldn’t it be a lot worse if your company had to shut down? Or if you’d messed up so badly, that Laura said she didn’t want to be your partner anymore?”
That wasn’t fair! She didn’t talk about work all the time. Maybe a lot of the time, though …
“James, the reason I ask about work, is because you’re always working.” Daisy tried not to sound defensive. “And any time we’re supposed to be doing stuff together, you use work as an excuse to escape.” Damn him, anyway, he didn’t get a free pass! “How do you think I felt at my birthday party? You pissed off home with Alma!”
“That’snotwhat happened, Daisy!And I didn’t fancy Alma!” James spoke through gritted teeth. “I’m pretty sure she didn’t fancy me either. I just liked hanging out with someone who saw me as a person.”
“Isee you as a person!”
James slumped back in the chair. “Are you having an affair with Matt? Just tell me.”
“Of course I’m not!” Daisy’s face burned, as she remembered all the times in the last two months when she’d fantasised about Matt and her together again.
In her fantasies, James had happily slipped out of the picture, and Matt had stepped back into the frame as if the past five years had never happened. Rosie was right: she was a flake. Matt’s ego was as fragile now as it had been when they’d been together. But the truth was, she’d been nursing her own ego too.
