Page 96 of Love like the (Real) Reel Thing
As the Mass began, Jess tried to focus on the service. Instead, her thoughts flitted back to the letter Moira had written. It had been short – a single page – but it had been enough. Its final line was seared in her mind.Life isn’t a dress rehearsal, Jessie. Live it bravely.
Her eyes filled again as she thought about it. Zoe had taken her own letter wordlessly from her father and gone straight up to her room. Jess hadn’t asked her about it, nor had Zoe asked about hers.
She pulled herself back to the present as her dad walked up to the altar and did a reading, his voice unsteady. Jess knew he was also giving the eulogy and that he’d be twice as nervous for that.
She wondered what he’d say. Moira had adored her family. But she’d also had a huge circle of friends, a busy social life, and a wicked sense of humour. It suddenly struck Jess that she’d chosen to celebrate her birthday early because she knew she wouldn’t live to see August. It had been a celebration – and a goodbye. Jess drew a ragged breath and folded her arms tightly around her, as if she could physically squeeze the pain out of her body.
After the service, Jess and her family stood outside the church, a cool breeze whipping around the grey stone building as they greeted mourners. When was the last time she’d been in a church? Christmas, she supposed. And the time before that had been her almost-wedding. She wasn’t really a church person – maybe she should go a bit more …
“Jess? Jess?”
She blinked, wondering if she’d thought Simon into existence. But he was here, standing in front of her. Of course he’d be here, she thought, with a rush of gratitude. Simon would always do the right thing.
“Simon, thank you for coming.”
He drew her in for a brief hug. “Of course I’d come.” He pulled away but held her arms. “How are you?”
She managed a nod. “I’m okay. How are you and Kate?”
“Good form.” He hesitated. “Did Kate …uh, I just wondered if you’d seen her yet? She’s around somewhere. Excuse me while I pay my respects to your dad. Take care, let me know if I can do anything?”
He disappeared before Jess could say anything more, and for the next while she was distracted by family and friends whoshook her hand and hugged her tightly, before commiserating and sharing their memories of Moira.
Just as she was starting to feel that she couldn’t face any more people, she looked up to see Adam approach.
“Adam.” She thought he might hug her but he simply took her hand instead. Jess found herself glancing around for his girlfriend, but there was no sign of her. Not that she blamed her. Who went to the funeral of their boyfriend’s ex’s grandmother?
“I’m so sorry, Jess.” Adam gave her a long look. “I only met Moira a few times, but she was great. You remind me of her.”
Jess swallowed hard. She couldn’t risk him hugging her or comforting her in front of everyone. She might break down in his arms and never want to let go.
“About what happened at Emily’s party,” Adam began, but Jess shook her head. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “And you’re right, it’s not the time.”
A silent communication passed between them.
“There’s still a lot of people who’ll want to talk to you. But I’m here for you, Jess.”
“Right.” She took a deep breath. “Thanks again.”
Adam looked like he was about to say something else but at that moment she spotted Kate. She caught her eye and waved to her. “Excuse me, please.”
“Sure.” He slid his thumb gently across the back of her hand before releasing her, and she watched until he disappeared into the crowd.
Kate came over and threw her arms around her. “I’m so sorry I’m only getting to you now. I’ve seen the rest of your family and one of your aunts kept me chatting for ages, I couldn’t get away.”
“Maggie?”
“That was her.” She pulled back slightly but held Jess’s hands. “How are you holding up?”
Jess shook her head. “I’m going to miss her so much, Kate. She was amazing, you know?”
“I know.” Kate hesitated. “Adam just asked me to let him know if there was anything you needed.”
“I’ll be fine, I don’t need his help.”
Kate gave her a sympathetic look but Jess found a point beyond her and focussed on it. “He’s been down in Linford for the last couple of weeks with his new girlfriend.”
“Oh.” Kate sighed. “Sorry.”
