Page 32 of Psync
There was something very wrong with Eli’s voice when he answered, “Um, by the Old Chapel, near the main pond.” His voice was tight and laced with something that tasted exactly like the remnants of second-hand anxiety lingering in Haruka’s chest.
Haruka was only minutes away. He didn’t actually need to meet with Bryan right now. He could wait, but it didn’t sound like Eli could. “I’m almost there.”
Haruka texted his friend about the change of plans while he hurried toward Eli. He didn’t run, but only barely.
He slowed his pace before reaching his destination. If something was wrong, he didn’t want his own worry to pile on top of Eli’s.
It was clear as soon as he saw Eli there was something wrong. His hood was up, string pulled tight, and his arms were wrapped around his body, both fists clenched so tightly they were white. He was smiling, but it looked like he was holding a razorblade in his mouth. “Hi, did you want to have lunch? It’s a little early, but—”
“Don’t.” Haruka couldn’t bear it. Eli’s razorblade smile was cutting Haruka right to the core.
“Don’t what? Have lunch?”
“Don’t pretend like you’re okay when you’re not.” Haruka stepped right into Eli’s space. He wanted to shield Eli from whatever was happening inside of him. Needed to. Even though the boy had never asked him for a single thing.
Instead of skittering back, like Haruka had seen him do countless times with other people, he stood his ground, eyebrows scrunched together adorably. “I don’t—I’m not—”
“You don’t have to tell me what happened if you don’t want to.” Even though Haruka really, really wanted to know so he could go hurt someone. “But don’t lie to me.” Haruka leaned in to make his point.
Eli bit his lip, worrying at the same ragged spot Haruka had seen him assaulting on Saturday shortly before he’d bolted.
Haruka should have eased back to give Eli room to breathe, but something in his gut wouldn’t let him. It wanted him to scoop the boy up and take him somewhere safe. And that scared the shit out of him.
Haruka didn’t do things like this. He didn’t get invested in things or people. He had his agenda, and everything he did was solely for the purpose of furthering it. He was looking for something, and he would find it or die trying.
Except . . . the pull to find that something didn’t have the same hold on him as it had before. Either Eli’s situation was so loud it was blocking out the pull, or something about or near Eliwasthe thing Haruka had been searching for.
Whatever the case, Haruka wasn’t going anywhere until he’d figured out which one it was. Even if he was wildly out of his comfort zone.
“Fine. I wasn’t okay, but I will be. And I don’t want to talk about it.” Eli’s eyes darted to either side of Haruka as if he were looking for tigers in the trees. “So . . . lunch? Or do you just want me to give your hoodie back.” He continued to avoid Haruka’s gaze.
There was no way in hell Haruka was taking his hoodie back. Not with the way Eli was burrowing into it like it was his only friend. “Keep it.”
When Haruka had given it to Eli this morning, it had been for a multitude of reasons. Aside from the obvious, he’d needed to do something about the way everyone had been surreptitiously ogling the half-frozen boy. Wrapping Eli in something belonging to him had been a great solution. If it were up to him, Eli would wear it forever.
“Let’s go eat.” He motioned for Eli to follow him. He’d like to take the boy back to his room, but had a feeling Eli would balk, so he led him to the closest cafeteria and piled his own tray with food, noting that—once again—Eli had chosen next to nothing for himself.
The boy was whisper-thin, and something needed to be done about it.
Chapter Thirteen
Eli
Okay, so maybe Eli’s old method of feigning normality hadn’t worked, but shortly after Haruka had arrived, Eli’s anxiety levels had dropped to something much more manageable—even if he did feel like he’d swallowed a jar full of butterflies.
Which was why he couldn’t even begin to keep up with how much food Haruka kept trying to shove at him. “I’m fine, really!” Eli’s hand blocked his plate when Haruka tried to put a slice of grilled chicken on it.
“You’ve only had five grapes.”
He’d been counting? Even Juniper wasn’t that weird.
“I had a big breakfast.” Eli lied. He’d had coffee and the muffin he’d gotten with the coffee lay uneaten in his backpack.
Haruka raised an eyebrow.
Eli glared at him and ate another grape. Haruka took the opportunity to slide the chicken onto Eli’s plate.
Even if there hadn’t been a flock of butterflies throwing a rave inside his stomach, he wouldn’t have eaten much. He still had the pencil sharpener in his hand. He didn’t need it anymore, but he’d gotten overzealous in squeezing it and was pretty sure he’d cut himself enough that it would be hard to hide the blood seeping out. So, he was eating one-handed.
