Page 112 of Psync
And Haruka was coming with him—hence the issues. When Eli had tried to bring it up, he’d been nervous as hell because what if Haruka didn’t want to come? Or even worse, what if he did want to come? His mind was spinning, and his heart was racing as he tried to summon up the nerve to text Haruka and ask him to meet him so he could ask, but then his phone buzzed.
StupidHotJerk:Of course, I’m coming. Sit down and breathe
Everything is going to be fine
I promise
Eli:You heard?
StupidHotJerk:I did
Eli:And you’re coming with me?
To meet my family?
StupidHotJerk:Yes
And if it stresses you out too much, you don’t have to tell them about us. Just enjoy being home
Eli had immediately opened his contacts and edited Haruka’s name to WonderfulHotJerk.
And now he was free for the next week. He could take Haruka to all of his favorite places in Eastern Mass. He had to take him to Salem—especially now that it was post Halloween craziness. It wouldn’t be as lively, but Eli couldn’t have handled lively anyway.
Haruka tried to play it cool, but he was just as much of a nerd about American culture as Eli was about Japanese culture—which was probably one of the reasons they fit.
As he made up a list of all of the places he wanted to go next week, Eli realized he’d made a fatal error. He’d stopped paying attention to where he was going and had subconsciously taken the quickest route back to his dorm.
Every other time of the year, there was nothing wrong with taking this path. It was the quickest, most efficient way to cut through the campus, but October through November it was the worst possible route to take because it was directly under the flight path of all of the migrating geese from the north. They would take off from the pond and thoroughly befoul the sidewalk on their way out. After a few weeks of such treatment, the inclined path became a nightmare slide to the worst day of your life.
Eli had gotten lucky. He’d watched an entire pack of freshmen learn the hard way why the normally crowded walkway was suddenly empty. The previously chipper group of coeds ended up at the bottom of the hill in a sad, disgusting, tangled mess. The spark of life was gone from their eyes. Clearly, the experience had left an impact on their souls they would take years to recover from.
Eli recognized his mistake, but only because his feet had begun the long slide down the hill.
“AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!” He screamed gracefully and with much dignity as he skated down the hill, arms waving and praying to every god he knew that he wouldn’t fall down in the horrible mess.
Halfway down, he started to spin until he was going down ass first, still on his feet. When he reached the bottom, he stood frozen, unable to believe he’d made it unscathed.
Other than his shoes. They were disgusting.
Applause drew him out of his daze as onlookers cheered his success.
Eli took a bow.Hey, any accident you can walk away from, right?
His phone rang. It was Haruka, so he answered, but had to pull his ear away from the ear-splitting laughter on the other end. He waited until Haruka began to laugh so hard he was making choking sounds. Eli hung up, shoved his phone in his pocket, then pulled it out again and texted:
Eli:If you kill yourself laughing, you won’t get a chance to miss out on all the head you won’t be getting ever again
The first chance he’d gotten, Eli had gone on TikTok to research ways of getting rid of his gag reflex. He’d spent an afternoon practicing each method until he found one that worked. Then he tested it out on Haruka.
Fucking Eli’s throat had instantly become his new favorite pastime, so it was no surprise when Eli got a shortSorryin response.
Haruka had better hope Eli took his shoes off before he kicked him in the shin. He shouted the thought as hard as he could.
Not that he actually would, but when someone was short, people tended to underestimate them. Threats help keep people in line.
When he reached his building, he toed his shoes off before entering. Gingerly, he picked them up—once he’d located a spot not covered in goose shit—and pitched them into the closest trashcan.
He entered the building in his socks, ignoring the stares at his feet. By the time he’d reached his room, he’d cycled between grumpy scowling and hysterical laughter enough times that he was certain everyone in the building was going to give him plenty of space for the rest of the year.
