Page 3 of A Really Gay Book
“Oh no, you were walking backward. I’m certain of it.” Like, ninety-nine percent certain. What were the odds thatIwould bump into someone?
I should have been able to walk blindfolded down the street and end up the winner of a beauty pageant. That guy clearly had to have been running backward at mach ten to manage a collision with me.
“I wasn’t walking backward. And I don’t give my name out to crazy people, nut bag.”
“Hello, Adam. I hope to see you in class later today. That bump looks nasty,” an old, quivery voice said from behind Mister Hot and Grouchy.
My ass-first assailant sighed. It was a profound noise, like his soul was doing everything in its power to escape his body. “Thanks, professor.” Adam waved halfheartedly at the nine-thousand-year-old man who had just given away his name. The professor smiled and hobbled away slowly like he was moments from his last hobble.
“Adam, huh? That’s much better than The Ass Rammer, which is what I was planning to call you if I didn’t get your name.”
“I’m leaving now.”
“So you’re just going to slam and scram? How modern of you. I didn’t even have to swipe right for this encounter.” I poked my hand once more and was entranced by the blood that continued to seep out. In all my life, it might have been the first time seeing my own blood.
Adam gave another long-suffering sigh. This one managed to be even more dramatic than the first. “No.”
“You mean you’re the kind that likes to stick around for the aftercare? You must be very popular.”
“No, I mean no. Justno. To all of this.” Adam waved a hand to gesture to everything in existence.
“I suppose I could just sit here.” I dipped a finger into the growing pool of blood forming under my dripping hand. “I wonder if it could be counted as a homicide if I bled to death after a ram and run by you?”
I sounded like a total prick, didn’t I? Yes, I think so too. Wonderful, yes?
Ineversounded like that. Even if I wanted to be a complete asshole, it still came out seeming classy, and the other party involved was usually on their knees in apology afterward. This happened over the last blueberry bagel at the bakery a week ago.
Could I have taken care of this injury myself? Of course I could have. Chances were good that I could have wrapped a bit of toilet paper around it and have it fully healed by lunch.
But why would I have done that when I’d just discovered someone so fascinating?
Sexy, too.
I dragged my gaze from the soles of Adam’s scuffed, discount army boots to his well-worn, muscle-hugging jeans—lingering for a moment on the tear at his hip (did it continue all the way to his ass? Inquiring minds wanted to know.)—along well muscled, faintly scarred forearms, and all the way up to the top of his tousled brown hair.
No fucking way I was letting this guy get away from me. Not when he’d just made life seem interesting.
“Can you help me up?” I put out my uninjured hand and wiggled my fingers, ignoring the fight-or-flight aura Adam was projecting.
I savored the long, drawn-out moment that stretched between us as he visibly pondered whether it was in his best options to run from me or begrudgingly take my hand.
Manners finally won out, and he took my hand and pulled me up. The minuscule amount of effort he used to do so had me breathless for a second there.
No. Adam wouldn’t be getting away.
ChapterTwo
ADAM
The small hand in mine represented more trouble than even I was prepared to deal with.
Apple had a reputation that reached far past our small campus.
For everyone in town, Apple was a godsend, but me? I couldn’t stand the guy. I can’t tell you how many times I’d shown up at a coffee shop to discover that the last muffin/bagel/insert breakfast food here I’d had my heart set on had just been bought by Apple.
The last time it happened, I cursed his name for five minutes straight, only to be inundated by a wave of, “Oh, Apple is so sweet, how could you say something like that?” and “You and Apple have the same tastes? You must be a fan of his!” (barf) and my least favorite, “We’re all out of breakfast food, but we have a leftover spinach salad from yesterday if you want it.”
And that was just something I got to deal with on a daily basis. It didn’t matter where I went to eat; when I got there, Apple just left, and he took the last of the decent food with him when he went.
