Page 32 of A Really Gay Book
“There it is. I see it now,” I said.
“If we blow up Baz, he’ll never make those pancakes you like again,” Gareth said.
“The ones with the blueberries? Those are from Baz?”
Vix’s tiny face was tomato red with indignation. “Did you think they just popped out of nowhere? You know I can’t cook, and Gareth is too busy. And Adam is banned from the kitchen for safety reasons.”
“Yes, it was impressive how Adam managed to blow out the back half of the kitchen when we don’t have a gas range.” Vale rested his head against the back of the couch and gazed at the ceiling, steepling his fingers together and looking like he was having Very Important thoughts. After an eternity, he said, “Fine. For the sake of pancakes, we won’t take Baz to the bomb range.”
“Hi! Inquiring new bad guy in training here. Can someone help get me up to speed?” As fascinating as the unfolding group dynamic was, I needed to hurry things along. The sooner we sorted out this exploding Baz issue, the sooner I could get back to testing out exactly how magical my asshole was.
Gareth cleared his throat and said in his Captain America voice, “Okay, so first, it’s important for you to know that Vix is smart. Like off-the-charts smart.”
You just know he practices that in front of a mirror. Like, seriously. If he told me to jump off a building using that voice, I might do it. And, as long as Adam wasn’t nearby, I’d probably survive by discovering I knew how to fly.
Gareth continued, saying, “He’s so smart that he can’t take regular classes at school because there would be no way for him to disguise what he’s got going on up there.”
“Why would he need to disguise it?” I asked. “Schools usually like that sort of thing.”
I’d always been given stupid amounts of praise for my many academic accomplishments and didn’t see any reason why Vix would be treated differently.
Vale looked at me like I was an idiot. Me! Apple! An idiot! What an insane concept. “Because then they’ll know what he’s capable of. Vix can’t control himself when he gets triggered-”
“I told you to call it engaged, Vale. I swear you forget these things on purpose,” Vix grumbled, giving Vale a flick to the chest.
“Fine.Engagedwith a project.” Vale put a hand on Vix’s face and shoved him back against the arm of the couch they were sharing. At the moment, I was slightly more interested in why they were sharing such a tiny couch when there were at least four other seats in the living room that were empty than I was with how smart Vix was.
“You’re as bad as I am, Vale, and you know it.” Vix was openly sulking, but he still plastered himself against Vale like he’d just dropped a hundred dollars on a rigged game at the county fair and finally won Vale as a prize.
For someone sporting the extreme resting bitch face Vale was, he was dealing with the intense cuddling surprisingly well. He even placed an arm around the smaller man, seemingly without realizing he was doing it.
“That’s how I know how consumed you get.”
Gareth cleared his throat loudly, and Vix and Vale immediately stopped bickering. “Anyway, Vix is smart. So smart that the things he creates often end up being beyond his ability to control.”
“Only because I forget to write down everything while I’m working. I get in the zone, and time just kind of gets away from me.”
“You are the shittiest scientist ever, Vix, I swear,” Vale said in a long-suffering tone.
“I’ve never claimed to be a scientist, and you know it. I don’t even own a lab coat.”
Adam wasn’t paying attention to the fascinating, rapid-fire conversation unfolding in front of us. No, he was busy doing his best to make me into applesauce by nuzzling the back of my neck. I could have swatted him away so I could focus better, but that would have meant hitting him, and nothing was ever hitting Adam again. Not bikes, trees, or people.
Gareth gave up on trying to contain the bickering pair and began to talk over their squabbling. “Vix’s current pet project is a device that can temporarily collect and suspend people in a safe place—”
“Pocket dimension,” Vix called out, and then continued to argue with Vale about the differences between a scientist and whatever the hell Vix considered himself.
“—in order to keep them out of danger. Sometimes innocent civilians get caught up in our missions and get in the way, and it makes my job a thousand times harder.”
“Only because you’re a bleeding heart, Gareth. If you’d just loosen up—”
“I’ve got too much on my plate to loosen up, Vale.”
“Do they always talk over each other like this?” I asked Adam in a stage whisper. “Maybe I should get them a talking stick.”
“Mmhmm,” Adam said against my neck.
“You aren’t listening at all, are you?”
