Page 26 of A Really Gay Book
I was pretty sure Gareth’s entire purpose in life was to keep his people safe. Why he’d claimed the ragtag group of misfits in this house was anyone’s guess, but we all benefited from it, so no one questioned it.
“Then we don’t have a problem.”
And it was as simple as that. Apple was one of us now—I could see it on everyone’s faces. I breathed a sigh of relief, and Apple patted my chest soothingly.
“Okay, so spill. What’s the big secret? Are you guys supervillains or something?”
“Well, I wouldn’t call us super…” Vix began.
“And we aren’t exactly villains, per se,” Baz finished.
“We do what needs to be done for the greater good,” Gareth added. “No matter what that ends up being.”
“Yep!” Baz was fairly bouncing in place. He was so obviously excited to have a new person to let in on the household secret. “Like there was this one time we found out the local museum was hosting artifacts stolen from an old burial site that was still a deeply religious and important place to the tribe who lived next to it.”
“So we liberated them!”
“Dammit, Vix, that was my line. The next bit was yours.”
“Oops. You can have the next one then.”
“Yes, I can.” Baz gave Vix a snotty look and continued. “Once we had them, we snuck everything back to the tribe. I was amazing by the way. They never even saw me when I was leaving it all in the center of their town. See, now it just sounds like I’m bragging, Vix. That’s why it was supposed to be your part.”
“I said I was sorry!”
“No, you didn’t. You said oops.”
“That’s the same as apologizing! Oops implies an apology.”
“Jesus, Vix, just keep going. Whose turn is it?”
They both looked at each other before shouting at the same time.
“There were very few casualties! And no one died!”
“Probably,” Vix added quickly, giving Baz an angelic smile.
I watched the play of emotions across Apple’s face as he watched Vix and Baz be themselves at each other. He seemed to be enthralled.
“We are living here forever,” Apple whispered to me.
“Okay.” Any kind of forever involving Apple sounded good to me.
“Anyway,” Gareth said, just on the line between yelling and speaking normally. Vix and Baz fell under the category of Gareth’s people, which meant they had no problem getting under his skin. I was pretty sure they practiced because they had it down to an artform. “Everyone in this house contributes, Apple. What can you bring to the table?”
“That depends. What does Adam do? And you should know that a lot rides on this answer, which should be nothing more dangerous than getting the mail because that’s already risky enough.”
Instead of getting offended, Gareth smiled. “Good. You knowing about Adam’s quirks makes this explanation a lot easier. Adam’s job is vital for us, but the least dangerous. All he has to do is exist.”
Apple said nothing very loudly, and I held him securely in my arms in case he decided to do something extra.
Gareth continued unfazed. “When we need to do a job, we leave Adam at a nearby coffee shop or bookstore—or the safest place we can find for him—and him being there is nearly always enough of a distraction to let us do what we need to do.”
“So even if the authorities catch us, they are low on numbers due to whatever ends up happening near Adam, and they never pose a serious threat,” Vix said.
“Which is boooooring.” Baz rolled his eyes.
“But allows for very few casualties,” Gareth added.
