Page 36 of A Really Gay Book
I gave them a grand speech about participating in an experiment vital to the safety and well-being of our country and then herded them all out the door.
“Can we keep the mass groping of my person to ourselves?” I asked Vix and Baz on the way out.
“It depends on what you’re offering in return,” Baz said with a shameless grin.
“How about I don’t run back in there and unfix Vix’s machine?”
“I think we can keep this between us,” Vix said. “It can be a bonding moment!”
As soon as we came out, I jumped at Adam and let him catch me so I could reclaim my position as his koala. Then I spent the time Vix used to explain to everyone what had happened to check every exposed inch of Adam for damage.
He had a Band-Aid on his index finger that hadn’t been present when I’d left him.
“I said NO damage, Gareth. None.”
Gareth’s expression went from cool and detached to helpless with a side ofoh shit. “We did the best we could. No one could have foreseen the side panel popping free and slicing open Adam’s finger.”
“Gareth took the brunt of the damage,” Adam said, stroking my back placatingly.
Gareth held up an arm wrapped in gauze. He’d obviously taken our bargain seriously, so I decided to let it slide.
“You are forgiven, Gareth.” Then I went back to snuggling into Adam because why would I pay other people attention when I had him?
I heard a few things like, “There’s that one super mean church we could take on now that this is over,” and “What about the big box store fighting to lower the national minimum wage? I’ve been dying to off their CEO,” along with “I call dibs on Apple next. I have an experiment that needs tweaking.”
That last one was Vale. I guess I’d proven myself enough that he’d decided to stop being a bitch to me.
Good for him.
But I didn’t pay much attention to any of it.
I had Adam, and he had me.
* * *
Adam and I spent the next two days monopolizing each other’s attention and ignoring any and all requests from our housemates for me to fix stupid things for them.
I wasn’t being mean—I had an intense training regime to adhere to. Adam and I had both missed out on years of amazing sex, and only a well-trained asshole was going to solve the problem.
On day three, I dragged Adam and the rest of the house out of bed at the crack of dawn to go to the courthouse. Yes, Vale came too. I’m pretty sure I heard him crying when Gareth pulled him out of his bed. Apparently, he doesn’t go to sleep until after the sun rises.
It was a lovely outdoor ceremony.
I bought out an entire flower shop for the occasion, except for their funeral stuff. The florist must not have gotten the memo on that part, though because there was a little arrangement of them off to the side with Adam’s name on the biggest wreath.
I put Vale in front of it. It suited his grumpy, goth vibe to a T, and I was pretty sure Vale snuck one of the arrangements to his lab after the ceremony.
Our wedding had to be outside because the courthouse would have been too crowded if we hadn’t. Even though we hadn’t told anyone we were getting married, someone must have leaked it since a quarter of the town showed up. With that turnout, we were lucky only a small handful of people tried to duel Adam for the sake of gaining my hand in marriage.
Team Evil did a great job of intimidating most of them away. Only Carl the Diner Guy was brave enough to persevere, and he got the honor of being the first person Adam ever punched in the face who got more injured out of the deal than Adam did.
You aren’t going to let me gloss over that part, are you? Okay, fine. It went like this:
So there we were, being disgustingly adorable and so wrapped up in each other that we could barely pay attention to the ceremony, when the justice of the peace got to the absolutely moronic bit about anyone having objections.
Seriously, I didn’t even know they still did that anymore. If I had, I would have put the kibosh on it right away.
Were there objections?
