Page 2 of Missiletoe
I mean, for starters, neither of us like to pitch. When we wanted to bang, we had to take turns topping. After we got off the streets and joined Gareth’s crew, Vale would be nice and take us both to Poundtown if we were lucky, but he was usually too busy. Or sleeping.
Vale keeps really weird hours.
Sometimes, if we were really lucky, Gareth would fuck us.
Personally, I think Gareth is demisexual. Fucking is like a favor he does for someone, like picking a friend up from the airport or something. Don’t get me wrong, when Gareth fucks, he is in it to win it (fans self), but I think he needs love to have it be something he’d actively choose on his own.
He can, however, on some glorious occasions, be goaded into it by Baz being a brat. It’s truly a thing to behold.
I don’t know what Vale is. I’m not entirely convinced he’s human, but you didn’t hear that from me. If he isn’t human, then I’m not even going to begin to try and classify his sexuality.
Like, what if he’s an alien and has an extra dick he’s keeping a secret? I’ve checked thoroughly, but so far I’ve only found one. But if Vale has two, maybe there’s another sexuality out there I don’t know about that needs their partner to have two dicks in order to find them attractive.
…Is it getting hot in here? Or is it just me?
Anyway, for the most part, it was just me and Baz. Other than him, Vale and Gareth were the only people he was comfortable with fucking me.
Baz trusted Adam, our other housemate, but before Adam met Apple, sharing a room with him was an act of bravery. His luck was notoriously bad before Apple, so having sex with him was just asking for trouble.
After he met Apple, his luck got much better, but if I tried to have sex with Adam, Apple would kill me. Baz or no, the guy would take me out. End of story.
Apple’s eyes go dead when he thinks anyone is about to mess with Adam. It’s the scariest thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen Baz covered in entrails.
Baz thinks he’s been good at keeping me from seeing the really bad stuff he deals with, but in reality, I’m just really good at pretending like I haven’t seen it. Like several weeks ago when I saw him dragging a body across our back lawn, I pretended that I thought it was a bag of leaves instead of the body of one of my erstwhile kidnappers tucked away inside an industrial-strength garbage bag.
Yes, I have my very own kidnappers. Gareth says it comes with the territory of being super smart.
So yes, Baz is overprotective. All of my housemates are. The narcolepsy and nymphomania have them all gun-shy about letting me out on my own. But due to a mix-up in scheduling, I’d slipped my leash that day and was roaming wild and free through town.
That was what had me belting out Disney tunes on the street. I never got that level of freedom, and I was going to make it count. There was no one to stop me from getting too sugared up, no one to keep me from meeting new people, and no one to yank me out of the road when I got distracted and forgot to pay attention to stoplights.
Oops.
Things went from happy and fun to scary and chaotic in a flash. There was a loud, metallic bang. And yelling.
A lot of yelling.
Probably at me.
It was difficult to think about any of it being related to me because my brain had begun to flash all the warning lights, bells, and whistles indicating the imminent shutdown of Vix.exe.
Hard restart about to commence.
My feet dragged me in a direction. Hopefully a safe direction. There was foliage. No flashing lights. Distant yelling instead ofall up in my businessyelling. I fell to my knees.
Oh. My panic button. I forgot…to…press…
Darkness.
Chapter2
Paris
Most people don’t nap in the park in the winter. Especially when it’s snowy. I am not most people. My mom likes to say that there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothes. And since I need a daily dose of vitamin D to keep my head straight, I like to get it during my daily post-lunch nap.
During the warmer months, it’s a non-event. No one looks twice at the giant guy napping under the old oak tree, but in the winter, I get a lot of comments.
Big dumb oxwas the most common one.
