Page 86 of Missiletoe
Delilah had been surrendered to the shelter because she’d been too much for the small woman who had adopted her to handle. The woman didn’t do any research on the breed, how to train a puppy, or how much exercise a dog like Delilah would need.
She’d gotten Delilah solely based on her cuteness as a two-month-old pup. Once Delilah had reached eighteen months old, she’d been way too exuberant for someone who was out of the house for ten hours a day. Delilah had torn the woman’s apartment to pieces and dragged her face-first down a sidewalk after one too many days of being trapped indoors.
Paris was livid, Baz was pissed, and I was ready to bomb what was left of her apartment. Only Paris’s reminder that the woman had ultimately done the right thing by bringing Delilah to him kept her free from retribution.
That and I seemed to have temporarily misplaced my missile launcher. It would turn up eventually. Probably. Until then, the turret on the west wing of the house would be empty. I was thinking of turning it into a cat playroom or something.
Anyway, over the previous week, I’d been reading Malamute training manuals in between my knitting marathons in the hopes that Paris would give me another chance. If I proved to him that I could be a responsible dog person, then maybe he’d forget the unfortunate riding incident.
I was glued to Delilah and fawning over how cute she was in her tiny hats when Vale stormed through the door. He was pulling fake snow out of his hair and was in full snarl-mode.
“You're supposed to put warning signs on your security devices, Vix,” Vale said in a nasty tone. Then he threw a chunk of plastic and wiring at my feet. It was part of the motor from my snow globe.
I caught it and was dismayed at how badly mangled it was. I’d never be able to fix it. “Vale, you completely destroyed my snow globe! I spent hours making it indestructible, and now I have to make a new one from scratch!”
“You should have reinforced the intake tube if you didn’t want it destroyed.” Vale said, sniffing disdainfully as he removed a tuft of fake snow from his stylish black coat.
Barney, a little mixed-breed dog in an elf hat, trotted up to Vale and put his paws on the man’s leg. Vale pretended like he didn’t notice Barney, but I totally saw him lower his hand enough to let the dog lick his fingers. Then he cast his gaze disdainfully around the room before sitting down in the least battered chair available. Gareth, as usual, was manspreading on the only couch.
“I’ll reinforceyourintake tube,” I muttered.
“I don’t know what that means, but I’m here for it,” Baz said, earning my love back. Cupcakes? What cupcakes? A partner in crime was worth more than a thousand cupcakes in my book.
I just had to decide how to enact proper retribution on Vale.
Since I had to get him off guard so he wouldn’t see it coming later, I said, “Vale, you’re lucky I have several other decorations scattered around this building, or else I’d make you spend the rest of Christmas Eve guarding the shelter until I managed to cobble something together to deter aspiring arsonists.”
“Speaking of aspiring arsonists,” Baz said, pulling a small box out of his pocket. “This is for you.”
I examined the jewelry box-sized gift wrapped in sparkly, silver paper covered in Disney princesses.
Well, parts of a few princesses. I was pretty sure the stray elbow on the top of the box belonged to Jasmine, and the dress-covered asscheek on one side belonged to Cinderella. I didn’t know who the other body parts belonged to because Baz had cut the wrapping paper into pieces and taped it back together in a gloriously horrific Disney princess monster.
I was going to preserve the paper or die trying.
Cradling it like the precious object it was, I asked, “What’s this?”
“It’s your Christmas gift! Well, it’s for both of you. Hey Paris! Get your sexy ass in here. It’s present time!”
Paris appeared and handed Apple a handful of papers before coming up to us and pulling me into his side. He gave Delilah some love before turning his attention on Baz.
“Now, I know you told me you didn’t need presents because getting Paris was the best present you could ever ask for, but I still had to get you this.”
“Good, because I was lying about not wanting anything.” I said as I used a multitool from my pocket to laser off the tape without messing up the paper, because I was totally framing the paper later and adding it to my art hallway.
Baz was bouncing off the walls by the time I finally got it open.
“Do you like it? I wanted to get you something you didn’t already have.”
“I hate to break it to you, Baz, but I already have ten of these. Paris does too.”
“I know but you don’t havethisone.”
“It’s a toe,” Paris said, and by his tone, you’d’ve thought he’d seen dozens of severed human toes in his life.
You can’t tell me my man wasn’t tailor-made for me.
“It’sMike’stoe,” Baz announced proudly.
