Page 46 of The Stud Next Door (Frisky Business 3)
God, just the thought of it causes an actual pain inside my chest. It’s not as though I’m going away on vacation. I’ll be gone for months and months. Connor is an amazing catch—of course he’ll have found someone else by the time I return. I’ll have lost my shot with him forever.
My phone dings, and a notification flashes on the screen.
PACK!
Ugh. It’s a reminder I set for myself a couple of hours ago, when I felt this dread about leaving creeping over me. So I set the reminder and sprawled out on my bed in my little apartment, letting myself wallow for a bit. I’ve got to get packed so I can move over to Connor’s place for the next few days anyway. And that is something I’m definitely looking forward to.
It’s taken all kinds of willpower not to scroll through pictures of Marley and me on my phone, or through pictures of Connor on his Instagram. There’s only one place that kind of sentimentality will lead, and it’s not anywhere I want to be right now. Not if I can help it. I can’t go there right now, because if I do, I’ll cry. And I have too much to get done to dissolve into tears.
I force myself to sit up, and then I drag my old suitcase down from the shelf in my closet. And a duffel bag. And another suitcase. And a weekend bag, just to be safe. Since I started working for Connor, I’ve put off even thinking about packing, and now I have to figure out how to fit everything I own in two suitcases. Before I left Indiana, I gave away or donated everything I could live without, but I still have too much to take with me on this international trip.
I take a deep breath, push my sadness aside, and start digging through my closet.
Is four bags too much for a mission trip where I’m supposed to be spending my time serving others? I know that everyone always says to travel light, but it’s not like I’m packing my bags full of makeup or hair products. I just can’t think of anything I’m ready to leave behind.
Like, I’m pretty sure I’m going to need a few different pairs of jeans, and all my fun tops, and some basic T-shirts, and obviously every pair of shorts I own. And it only makes sense to pack some dresses too, right? It’s not like I’ll only be working all the time.
So that means that I need to bring some cute shoes, maybe a pair of wedges, and those strappy sandals I’ve been wearing all summer. The same ones I wore on my first date with Connor, which, let’s be real, still stands as the hottest date I’ve ever been on in my life. And if I’m bringing the strappy sandals, I should probably bring some comfortable shoes too, like the sneakers I wear when I take Marley on a walk around the neighborhood.
Gah! And we’re back to Connor and Marley.
I used to be so excited for this trip. This was the only thing I was looking forward to for so long, and now? Now the thought of leaving makes me sick to my stomach.
I toss the sneakers I was holding onto the floor and throw myself back onto the bed, burying my face in my hands. I haven’t felt this torn up about something in . . . well, I don’t know how long. My heart hurts. Like, physically hurts. I don’t know how I’m going to walk onto that plane without puking my guts up or bawling my eyes out.
Even the thought of all the good we’ll be doing over there isn’t doing anything to comfort me. Because I have people who need me here too. Connor needs me, and so does Marley. And leaving them now just feels so freaking wrong.
My phone buzzes again, only this time it doesn’t stop.
I roll over and pick it up to find a number I don’t recognize calling me. But I do recognize the area code. It’s the same as the area code of the phone number of the agency that’s organizing the trip. Probably some last-minute check-in that I’ve gotten all my immunizations and have my passport up to date. That kind of routine stuff.
“Hello?” My voice is raspier than I thought it would be. And I haven’t even started crying yet.
“Hi, is this Jessa McClaine?” It’s a woman’s voice. She’s chipper and professional, the kind of person who likes to help people. The kind of person who goes on these trips without a second thought.
“Speaking.”
“Hi, Jessa, this is Cassidy. I’m calling about your upcoming trip. Do you have a minute?”
“Yep, I’m all ears. I was just packing, actually.”
“Oh, well, you might want to put a pause on the packing. We have a proposal for you. It’s a little out of left field, so don’t feel pressured to say yes, but we could really use you in a different area of the organization.”
