Page 18 of Maple Sugar Mix-Up
He arched a confused eyebrow at me.
“That is how they raised me, yes. But after watching them… Well, my mother stayed out of the finances and let her alpha handle it. So, she never knew how far into debt he was… My father wanted everyone to think the mighty alpha had it under control.” I couldn’t resist rolling my eyes. “I didn’t know about the debt either… until they passed and it suddenly became my problem.”
Ashton pursed his lips sympathetically and nodded.
“It’s all paid off,” I said with a bitter laugh. “I had to drop out of med school and work three jobs to afford it. Practically worked myself to death to do it, but I paid it off about two years ago. But I was burned out. I had to quit the other jobs for the sake of my mental health and just kept my hospital gig… and it’s… well, it’s not enough.” I laughed at myself again. “Maybe it wasn’t so great for my mental health anyway. The debt…”
I fell silent for a moment, just thinking about how, well, how fucking unfair it all way. My dad was always so gung-ho about me becoming a financially successful alpha – to the point that I was pretty sure it had ruined my dating life – and yet he had sunk into a debt so bad he took me down with him.
“The debt?” Ashton prompted gently.
I sighed. “It wiped out my savings. And I just can’t… I’m in the cheapest, shittiest apartment in town. I budget… I’m careful… But every time I start to get just a little bit of an edge, something happens.” I slammed a fist down on the dashboard. “This breaks down. Or something else breaks or rips and has to be replaced. Prices spike. My hours get cut. It never ends.” Well, this was depressing and not at all an answer to his question. “So, yeah. My parents raised me to want to be the breadwinner. But I saw what it did to them and I know how outdated that thinking is. Sure, I guess I’d like to provide for an omega somehow, but I’m not hung up over it. I’d be okay if they earn more than me. Problem is, just like you, nobody I date feels the same way.”
He nodded grimly.
“They say it’s okay. But after a while they get sick of me not paying for dinner or price checking everything. They all want to kick back and be kept omegas while I do all the work.” I shrugged. “So, I swore off dating too, until I can actually get back on my feet and provide for an omega.”
“Guess we really do have opposite reasons for not dating,” Ashton said.
“Yeah,” I chuckled darkly.
Silence fell and my thoughts started to wander. I couldn’t help thinking about what George said about Ashton obviously not needing an alpha to provide. I wondered if one with no money at all would be a deal breaker.
Then again, would it be a deal breaker for me? Was I type of alpha he worried about?
I glanced at him curiously. I did really like him; the date had been great. Were our financial situations be too different to work? Not that we’d ever know if we didn’t try…
“Look,” I said, clearing my throat. Ashton turned to study me.
“Yeah?”
“We obviously both have our reasons for not dating but… well, I’m kind of into you.” Was it my imagination or did one corner of his mouth turn up slightly at the admission? “You don’t sound like the type of omega who wants an alpha to provide for him, which makes you exactly the type of omega I want to date… the thing is… Well, I can promise that I’m not the type of alpha who would take advantage of your money. I’m sure you’ve heard that before…”
He nodded sadly.
“But,” I went on, “I… I do know I won’t feel somehow lesser for not earning as much money as you. And I certainly would never ask you to lie about. Honestly, I think it’s awesome you’re making so much off your books. Movies and TV shows… That’s amazing. If I were dating you, I think I’d probably be proud of you.”
Ashton smiled and flushed.
“I’ve tried to write books. I’ve actually got these old unfinished manuscripts – not mine – and I tried to write endings…” I laughed at my own expense. “It’s hard!”
“It is.”
“The thing is, if my financial situation keeps going like this, I can’t promise that it won’t start to get to me. Just… just the frustration of having you make all the money. I saw what happened to my parents and I don’t want something one-sided, no matter who the main breadwinner is. I want to be able to use moneyIearned to treat you to something sometimes. To get you a present you didn’t just technically buy yourself… I want to be able to contribute and provide in some capacity. But I’d never resent you for earning more.”
“Thank you,” Ashton said softly. “For being so honest. You’re right, I have heard that promise before, but you’re the first one who has admitted that you know it’ll be hard.I’venever had a problem being the sole breadwinner. My issue is always the way thealphareacts.”
It was my turn to nod in agreement.
“But… I do appreciate where you’re coming from. And I… well, I’m kind of into you too.”
We exchanged shy smiles, then fell into a slightly more comfortable silence.
Soon, Ashton directed me onto a small road and I found myself pulling up a long driveway and parking in front of a surprisingly small farmhouse.
“This is your place?” I asked in surprise.
He nodded.
