Page 95 of A Christmas Temptation for the Duke
He winced and turned away, his stare now saved for the fire. “You, most of all. I know what you think that you feel. Just as I know what you think that means – but I promise you, it is not that easy. And where it is hard to accept, you will be better off once I leave.”
“And if I refuse to accept that?”
“It does not matter what you accept,” he said darkly. “I have made up my mind, and it will not be changed.”
Alison did not let his dismissal get to her. Not this time. He might have spoken the words that he needed to, but there was no fight in them. No conviction. She could see him wavering, as if he wanted her to change his mind. And Alison… well, she always had been stubborn.
“You could not be more wrong, Daniel. You are not –”
“You do not know me.”
“I know you better than you know yourself.” She bit her lip and considered him, trying to decide how best to do this. He had turned away from her, refusing to meet her eyes, forcing her to speak at him rather than to him. That needed to change.
A decision made, and Alison stepped around the couch so that she was in front of him. Then, before he could stop her, she dropped to her knees and took his hands in her own. She shuffled forward between his legs and looked at him – reallylookedat him. She needed him to see her, just as she saw him.
“Do you not see it by now?” she pleaded as she squeezed his hands. “Do you not understand, Daniel? You are not some… some monster, or beast from myth,” she laughed. “You are not a wicked person, and you have certainly not ruined the lives of all those you have met.”
He tried to pull his hands free. “It is not about that.”
“It is,” she pressed on him. “You think that you wronged your sisters, and the only way to make amends is to leave here. You think that you do not deserve happiness, because you stole theirs. You think… you think… you think that running is the answer.”
“I am not running.”
“You are!” she cried out. “Which is not who you are. Lord Grayhill does not run from problems. He races toward them. He does not cower from a fight but stands up to it. And when he wants something, he goes for it. He makes it his, no matter the cost.”
“And if I want to go to the Americas?” he pleaded. “What if that is what I want?”
“What you want is to be happy.” She smiled, letting her eyes well with tears. “That is what you want, even if you refuse to admit it. And happiness won’t be found across the ocean, Daniel. It can’t be.”
“And why…” His voice cracked and he no longer tried to pull his hands away. “And why not?”
“Because it is here,” she said desperately. “Staring you in the face.” Then, she laughed. “And you know that it is! When I came to you the other night and told you that I loved you –” Daniel winced. “—Do you know what I realized?”
He was staring at her, his eyes watering, the fight leaving him.
“I realized,” she continued, “that when I told you that I love you, you did not deny that you love me too. You did not say it, because you could not say it.”
“Alison… please…”
“Tell me,” she demanded. “If you really want to run, if you really want to go, I will not stop you. But before I let you, look me in the eyes and tell me the truth. Do you love me?”
“It is not that simple.”
“Answer my question.”
“You know it will change nothing.”
“Tell me!” she cried. “For once, tell me how you feel, Daniel. No more lies. No more denying what I know. Just…” She smiled softly at him. “Just tell me, yes or no.”
Daniel continued to look at her. There was sadness in his eyes, the fight he had been winning for so long, finally ending, whether he wanted it or not. He still held her hands. He still looked unsure. But as she stared at him from her knees, pleading with him to admit the truth, she couldfeelthe change… the acceptance washing over him.
He wanted to say it. All he needed was that push…
“I love you, Daniel…” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “And if you love me too, I deserve to know. Now, tell me, and do not lie. Do you love me?”
It was subtle, but the hint of a smile tugged at his lips. He exhaled, as if pushing out the last vestiges of the fight, and his body slumped. “You always were stubborn.”
“Is that a yes?”
