Page 75 of Penalty Box
My face was hot, and not from the practice. I held his gaze, clenching my jaw so hard it hurt. And I said nothing. He was our captain, and it was my job to listen.
“You got the call,” he said. “You made it. Pissing it away is a slap in everyone’s face.”
“Pissing it away? I missed one game to go to a funeral.”
“You’re a waste,” he said then, voice heavier than before. “You’ve got all the talent, but you’re choosing to flame out and throw away your whole career before it even has the chance to take off. Don’t pretend this isn’t a choice, Calder. This isn’t about the funeral, either. You knowexactlywhat I’m talking about.”
I stood up, fists balled at my side, but Grayson just shook his head.
“Get your shit together before you’re a name no one remembers.”
He grabbed his duffel and stormed out. The door swung shut behind him, louder than it needed to.
I sat back down, pulse spiking.
Hunter padded over a few minutes later when some more of the guys had left. He was still toweling off his hair, so didn’t sayanything at first. Just dropped onto the bench beside me with a sigh.
“He’s not wrong,” he said finally. “But he’s not entirely right either.”
I gave him a sideways glance. “You’re gonna lecture me too?”
“No,” he said, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “I just think… you’re better than this. You’ve got something most guys don’t.”
“Talent?”
“Instinct,” he replied without missing a beat. “You’ve got a feel for the game that can’t be taught. That’s rare. You don’t belong on any bench, so quit getting in your own way.”
His tone wasn’t harsh, like Grayson, but it hit harder because of that.
“I just wanted to play hockey,” I said, sounding too much like my younger self.
“Then play.” Hunter pulled his clothes on, and left.
One by one, the rest of the lockers slammed shut, water bottles hit the trash, footsteps faded. Eventually, it was just me.
I leaned back, head resting against the cool metal of my locker, and pulled out my phone. Still nothing from Cass. My chest ached in a way that had nothing to do with skating drills.
I’d been thinking about this all wrong. I kept telling myself that staying away from her was the right thing. Doing as I was told… To risk going against Coach’s warning would be reckless. It could end everything.
But this felt more wrong than the lie. Pretending I could forget her at all.
Every time I looked at her, it became clearer. She was it for me. Not a distraction taking me away from the game, or a fuck-up waiting to happen. She was the real deal. I felt it, even now.
And if I let her go to protect a future I didn’t even want without her, what did that make me?
A noise cut through the quiet and I sat up.
Coach McAvoy stepped out from his back office, not saying anything. He stared at me like he was deciding whether I was worth the time or not.
“Sorry about today, Coach,” I said, feeling that was the best way to start.
“Get in here, Calder,” he grunted. “We need to talk.”
23
Cass
The wrench slipped again, smacking my knuckles and drawing out a hiss of pain. I shook my hand and gritted my teeth against it. The busted faucet in the visitor’s locker room had been leaking for weeks and now, predictably, it was my problem. Like everything else around here that nobody wanted to deal with.
