Page 71 of Endurance
I look up and Vi is staring at me in watery-eyed wonder. “You absolutely can do more, Tan. You can do anything you set your mind to! Belle inspired all of this?”
I shrug. “I just want to be good enough for her, you know?”
She reaches across the counter and grabs my hand. “You were good enough for her before all of this.” I half smile and she pulls back, resuming her cheese grating process. “I’m proud of you, Tanner.”
“Thanks,” I murmur, feeling like a child all over again because I still crave Vi’s approval.
We’ve all changed so much as we’ve grown up, yet we’re all still the same. Still five siblings roughing out life together one story at a time. Vi’s engaged and having a baby. Camden is in love with Indie. I’m with Belle. Maybe Booker or Gareth will be next. Even Dad seems to be in better spirits these days. I’m still floored that he brought up Mum to me last week. He never would have done that before.
A random question on the tip of my tongue falls out. “How did you know you were in love with Hayden?”
Vi looks up at me with a grin and glances out the window to watch the action in the back garden for a moment before answering. “I don’t know. I mean, it wasn’t love at first sight by any means. We had an immediate connection I suppose. But I don’t think it was until he told me all the dark corners of his past that I completely fell for him.”
I frown, recalling the little bit Vi told me about Hayden attempting to take his own life after the death of his sister. Suicide is never the answer, but if something ever happened to Vi, I don’t know what I’d do with myself.
“Do you ever worry that he would try again?” My eyes slant with sympathy, but she immediately shakes her head.
“Not a drop.” She sets down the cheese grater and braces her hands on the worktop, inhaling and exhaling deeply. She closes her eyes, and I’m surprised when two tears slip out from beneath her lashes.
“Vi, I’m so sorry.” I make a move to get up, but she lifts her hand to stop me.
“It’s all right,” she says, smiling and clutching her belly. “I cry about everything these days. It’s the hormones. But to answer your question, no, I’m not worried about Hayden anymore. This baby is tethering us together so much, our hearts are one right now. Deep down, Iknowno matter what happens to us, we’ll get through it together.”
I look down at my clasped hands because it’s hard to look at her face when she’s so open like this. My chest burns with an ache at her blatant display of raw love and vulnerability. My sister and Hayden have laid everything bare with each other. They’ve played all their cards and they hold nothing back. And rather than feeling exposed and susceptible to attack, they feel…safe.
I clear my throat, snapping myself out of my inner thoughts and find Vi staring at me with a curious look on her face.
I let out a laugh. “What?”
She shakes her head and swallows, shooting me a wobbly smile. “Nothing. I…erm…Why don’t you tell everyone that dinner is ready.”
DR.MILLER AGREED TO LETme out early on Wednesday for the big Bethnal Green match. She was especially amenable when I told her that Tanner had recruited several of his team members and WAGs to attend our charity event next weekend, which I’m actually looking forward to now.
The last couple of days, Tanner has been staying at my place, saying that he preferred it because it put him farther away from Tower Park. He said the way dark chocolate calls to me in the night is the way Tower Park calls to him. He’s worried that watching the match this evening and not being allowed on the sidelines with his team might crush his soul.
He’s a bit dramatic.
Hoping to brighten his spirits, I pop out of work early to go pick up a gift I ordered for him. It’s just something silly that I hoped might take his mind off the fact that he’s not putting on his kit today.
Right before I walk into the store, my mobile alights with a call from my father. Aside from our short, clipped emails, I haven’t spoken to him since the day I screamed at him in my flat.
“Hello?” I answer, looking around suspiciously as if he’s watching me from somewhere.
“Belle, this is your father.”
“Hello, Father. How are you?” My voice sounds different, reverting back to that proper tone I only ever use around my family.
“I’m well. And yourself?”
“I can’t complain.”
“Good. I wanted to let you know you’ve done a very proper job with that Harris boy these past few weeks.”
“I have?”
“Yes, aside from those first couple of photos, things have looked, well, appropriate for someone like you. So well done.”
“Someone like me,” I repeat slowly.
