Page 85 of Endurance
He drops the joke. “Indie and I had our moment in the spotlight, but now you and Belle are the shiny new object everyone cares about. But if it’s not that, what’s your deal? Is it the game?”
My brows knit together. “I’m anxious but like…hyped, mostly. Practice this week has been solid. DeWalt and I are finally getting a rhythm out there. It feels right. I think we have a shot at winning if we can get everything to go our way.”
Cam’s brows lift. “That’s brilliant. So what is it then?”
“I don’t know,” I mumble, sliding the chopped carrots into the bowl of lettuce.
“Are things bad between you and Belle?”
“No, she’s fucking fantastic,” I answer quickly because it’s the truth. This week with Belle has been perfect. This month with Belle has been perfect. The ups and downs included in all of that because it just made me want her more.
What started as the worst month of my life with a suspension morphed into something extraordinary. But I can’t shake the feeling that I’m on the precipice of something major, and I’m either going to jump or I’m going to fall.
“Then out with it already, what is your problem?” he snaps.
Pursing my lips, I brush my hands off on my jeans and decide to answer his question with another question. “How do you handle the balance between football and Indie?” I turn and toss the utensils in the sink and hoist myself up on the counter next to it. “I find myself completely engulfed in all things Belle and it seems a bit insane.”
Camden mulls over his answer for a minute. “Well, Indie and I both travel a lot, so our breaks apart are self-inflicted. It gives her the space she requires to feel human, and it gives me the chance to miss the fuck out of her. It makes our time together even more special when we return.”
“Are you consumed by her when you return?” I ask, dreading the answer a bit because it’s Indie we’re talking about and she’s like a sister to me. But I need advice, so I have to suck it up and put my big boy pants on.
“Yes. Yes, I completely am,” he smiles knowingly and I have to look away because I can practically hear his dirty thoughts. “When you know, you know, broseph. And if your game isn’t being affected negatively, why fight it?”
I pause, searching for the right words. “I have this…urgency to make Belle mine, like permanently. Do you have that with Indie?”
Cam’s eyes narrow like I just sussed something out. “I mean, yeah. That was actually something I was wanting to talk to you about.”
“Talk to me about what?”
“I erm…want to get a place for Indie and me. Maybe a house, I don’t know. But something that’s ours. I want to surprise her with it because I know if I include her in the process, she’ll get awkward about the money and I don’t want that. I thought I’d get Belle to help me so I don’t pick something she’ll hate.”
I smile, genuinely pleased for him. “That sounds brilliant, Cam. Really. I’m chuffed for ya.”
“Yeah,” he murmurs, looking down and fumbling with the cucumber slices. “It would just mean that I, uh…wouldn’t be living here anymore.”
Then it hits me why he’s being so awkward. Of course a new home with Indie would mean that he would move out of here permanently. How could I be so stupid? The pang of disappointment is heavy, but not unbearable. Nodding, I reply, “I understand.”
“Well, it’s just…I know you and I haven’t been spending as much time together lately,” he stammers but I cut him off.
“Camden, don’t get soft on me. Your vagina is showing again.”
He rolls his eyes.
“I’ll be fine,” I confirm.
He nods stoically and a darkness casts over his face. “Can I ask you a serious question?”
I shrug. “Of course.”
“Do you miss playing with me as much as I miss playing with you?”
A thickness forms in my throat as I lock my matching blue eyes with his. There’s no humour in his expression. He’s not taking a piss. He’s being sincere and honest with me right now. We’re saying a thousand words a minute with our eyes, but out loud, I simply reply, “Every day.”
He looks down and murmurs, “Me, too.”
I half smile. “We had to grow up some time I guess.”
He lets out a haughty laugh. “I never saw this for us. I thought we’d be single until we were old and grey. And even then, we’d be shagging birds half our age and talking about our old glory days on the pitch.”
