Page 93 of Endurance
This hits a nerve. A big one. Her dark eyes alight with fire and she grabs my arm, shuffling me off to the side of the ballroom. She pushes on a random side exit door, and when she discovers it’s locked, I think she might scream. Her gaze lands on the empty photo booth. Yanking the curtain back, she shoves me inside and tucks in behind me and closes the drape. She pulls me down onto the long bench opposite the camera. The colour changing LED lights in the booth shift, turning us both from blue to purple to red in rapid succession.
“Did you just compare me to my fucking father?” She spits the words out with a deep, throaty voice like Satan.
The camera flashes.
Not the least bit intimidated by her rage, I retort, “Well, he just told me a load of bollocks about how you’re still faking it with me. That you’re trying to get your fellowship extended into a full-time contract.”
“I am!” she exclaims. “You know this!”
“So you are faking it?”
“No! Christ, you can’t be this thick!” She clenches her hands in front of her chest like she wants to punch something. Probably me.
“Well, fuck!” I bark, the music cranking up out on the dancefloor, thankfully drowning out our voices. “What am I supposed to think? You seem rather in your element tonight, Belle, rubbing shoulders with these doctors. And you never once mentioned your father would be here. How am I to know if you’re actually in this with me or just playing me as a stupid footballer?”
“You’re not a stupid footballer, Tanner. Not even bloody close!”
FLASH.
“Then why are you hiding me from your family?”
She exhales a heavy breath and hunches over, resting her elbows on her knees, the position completely at odds with her formal dress. “Because I’m great with patients but crap with real life.”
This gives me pause. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know if I have the emotional capacity to do this with you, Tanner. You saw my father, he’s a monster. He’s a self-serving arsehole. That’s what runs in my veins. I didn’t have a Vi or a Camden to lean on growing up. I grew up around that.” She points outside the booth.
“Well, so what?”
She sits up again, her shoulders sagged in defeat. “You’re going to hit a wall with me and you’re going to tire of climbing. You’ll want someone normal. Someone less,” she sighs. “Crazy.”
That bloody word again! I’m so fucking tired of her calling herself crazy.
“Woman!” I exclaim, grabbing her face in my hands and staring so deeply into her eyes I swear I can feel her soul touch mine. “You’re my kind of crazy, and I am crazy inlovewith you!”
FLASH.
Her gaze flicks back and forth between my eyes in utter disbelief. “How can you possibly feel that? We haven’t been together that long.”
“It’s been coming on for a while now.” I lighten my grip on her face and drag the backs of my fingers down her cheeks. I pull a leg up between us and throw it over the bench so I’m straddling it now. I move closer to her so she’s completely encased in my arms and legs. I need her space to be my space and my breath to be her breath. I need to own her in this moment.
“I don’t care what you came from or who you didn’t have to lean on. Lean on me. Love me. Because I fucking love you, Belle. Your free spirit is what draws me to you. Your soul matches mine.” I grab her hand and place it over my chest so she can feel my heart racing. Her hands tremble and her breath is shaky as she inhales and exhales.
“Belle, on the pitch, my endurance isn’t matched. With you, I’m exhausted and I’m weak and I’m desperate to keep you. You keep me on my toes and I fucking love that about you.”
She rolls her eyes with a half-smile. “Of course you’d bring this all back to football.”
I smile back. “Football is all I know…but it comes in second to you,” I murmur, dragging in a deep breath and preparing to set everything else in my heart free. “I don’t just want to love you, Belle.I want to marry you.”
FLASH.
She blinks rapidly for what feels like ages. Her voice is a mere whisper when she asks, “What did you just say?”
The words didn’t surprise me like I thought they would. They didn’t scare me or bring me anxiety. They brought me peace.
I clear my throat. “I said I want to marry you.”
“I heard what you said. Stop shouting!” she exclaims, her crazy eyes glossing over.
