Page 85 of Keeper
His words do nothing to alleviate the ache in my chest. “I believe I’m different, Booker, but only because we’re best friends and that’s all.”
“Rubbish,” he growls, stepping into my space so close that I could easily touch him. His hard eyes pin me to my spot as he says, “I know you think I’m not all in with you, or that you think you know what I’m feeling. But you don’t, Poppy. You can’t possibly. This right here”—he touches the beam on the overhead porch—“This little house I made with about six other blokes because I’m a shit carpenter…I made this because I want to bring our child here to play. I want to tell her…or him everything you and I did here together as best friends. All the adventures we created. All the fun we had. And I don’t want to do that by myself. I want to do that with you.”
“Booker,” I say with a sigh. “This playhouse is extraordinary, but I want more than a friend. I want love.”
“You can have that with me, Poppy!” he growls and shoves a raw, callused hand through his hair, exhaling heavily and moving closer to me. The smell of sweat and dirt radiate off of him, and my traitorous body wants to move in and rub his scent all over me.
“Poppy, you are everything I want as a man and everything I took for granted as a boy.”
Shaking my head in frustration, I reply “I don’t even know what that means!”
“That’s why I brought you here,” he growls. “We missed so many kisses growing up. Kisses I should have given you, but I was too stupid to understand what real love was at the time.”
My breath inhales sharply at the word love coming out of his mouth so easily. “What did you just say?” I stammer. Surely he didn’t mean to say it.
“I’m going to show you every single kiss we missed.” He leans in, his breath warm on my neck as he whispers in my ear, “Like the first time we met kiss, when you were in that dirty yellow dress and made me smile because of the way you talked to your dog, Pink, like he was a real person.” He kisses me on the cheek.
I swallow hard as he pulls back and looks at me with so much affection in his eyes, it makes my legs wobble.
He licks his lips, clearly just getting started. “First cheeky kiss, when I slept over at your house and I wondered what your lips tasted like, so I snuck one while you were asleep.” He leans in again and murmurs, “Close your eyes, Poppy.” I do and he brushes his lips on mine so softly, it’s like a feather stroke. Then he pulls away, and my eyes flutter open just in time to catch a rueful smile tugging on the corners of his mouth.
“A first date kiss, when I finally manned up and asked you out on a proper date. But I was too nervous to kiss you the way I wanted to, so I did this instead.” He cups my face in his hands and then plants an awkward, chaste peck on me. I can’t help but giggle.
His dimples crease into his cheeks as he watches me laugh. “A horny teenager kiss.”
My mouth tightens with excitement, but then he surprises me completely when he dips his head to my neck and sucks so hard, I yelp in pain. “Booker!”
He pulls back and fails to conceal his cocky smile as I rub the love bite that I’m sure he’s left there. “What?” he asks, laughing.
“You’re a cheeky sod,” I grumble in a scolding tone.
He watches me fuss for a moment. Then his smile slowly fades, revealing that his mind has moved on to the next kiss. He exhales a shaky breath and whispers, “A firstrealkiss.”
Looking nervously into my eyes, he moves his hands down to my waist and pulls me flush against him. My hands land on his chest as he finds my expectant lips and swiftly parts them with his tongue. A soft whimper slips out of my throat as he deepens the kiss, his tongue urgent and coaxing. My body melts into his as he tightens his grip around me, commanding me in his tight hold.
Without warning, he breaks the kiss. I’m breathing heavily as our eyes find each other, half closed and half turned on until his face grows serious. He suddenly looks sad. Greif evident in the pupils of his eyes.
“A goodbye kiss,” he states, his voice raw. His eyes slam shut as he bends my head back and kisses me so hard and so passionately, I think there might be bruises left in his wake. His lips beg for something heady. They beg me to be his. They beg me to stay. To let go and forget about leaving. I’m instantly transported to the day I left for Germany. He was so tortured, so surprised. And I was so determined at the time, I thought nothing could change my mind. Quite honestly, though, if he would have kissed me like this, I would have stayed forever.
When he pulls away, his eyes are glassy and it breaks my heart. He sniffs and says, “A new beginnings kiss.” He strokes the backs of his fingers down my cheeks and kisses me softly. Timid and gentle at first, but then he strengthens it like he did our first night together.
We separate after a moment, both panting. But he’s not done. He reaches forward and strokes my belly. The sensation causes a knot to form in my throat as he says, “The mother of my child kiss.” I brace myself for a kiss on my lips again, but instead, he bends over and presses his lips to my small belly.
A sob bubbles from my throat. I can’t help it. It’s the realest this entire thing has ever felt, and hearing him recognise the baby is more emotional than I could’ve ever imagined.
When he rises, tears are streaming down his face. A face that I’ve loved for so long, I can’t remember a time I didn’t love it. Can I really let myself go with him after a lifetime of love not being reciprocated?
“Booker—”
“These are all the kisses I owed you throughout our friendship. But the most important kiss of all…The one I’ve been denying since the day we met, Poppy McAdams, is the I love you kiss. The real, soul-ruining kind of love. The kind where you feel like you’re free-falling and it’s thrilling but scary as hell. Or maybe that’s just how it is for me.
This is where I first felt it for you, Poppy. Not the day you moved back to London., and not the day you told me two weeks ago. I’ve felt it for most of my life. I’m only sorry it took me until now to realise it.”
He steps closer and cups my cheeks, saying the words I’ve been aching to hear. “I am completely in love with you, Sunshine.”
Those words. Never have I known how powerful words are until this moment.
My breath.
