Page 63 of Next in Line
“Kate,” I groan, my fingers combing through my hair in frustration. “My ex-boyfriend is not an asexual amoeba.”
Kate shrugs dismissively. “But if the sex isn’t great, I’d be worried about your connection.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” I argue, feeling my blood pressure rise. “I barely know Sam, and we had like mind-blowing, incredible sex.”
“Connection isn’t about knowing what someone’s favorite color is, or how they take their coffee, or even what your future will look like together.” Kate balls her hands up into fists and touches her chest. “It’s about seeing their soul. Noticing their nonverbal body cues, their noises, having an instinct about who they are and what they need.”
A knot forms in my throat at the idea that sex with Sterling might never compare to sex with Sam. And the fact that I hooked up with Sam at all means that for the rest of my life, I will always compare Sterling to Sam. Now I’m in an even more difficult position than I was to begin with!
“Why did you push me into Sam’s arms, Kate?” I ask, feeling tears prick the backs of my eyes as panic presses in all around me.
“Whoa, Megan…I didn’t push you. I just…thought you might need to give someone else a chance while you were single.”
“But I don’t want anyone else. I want Sterling!”Right?My mind spins over the fact that he’s who I’m destined to be with. It was love at first sight.You don’t walk away from the rareness of love at first sight!my inner psyche exclaims as my anxiety builds into a full-on freak-out.
Kate’s eyes go wide, and she looks a little scared of me. I’d be scared of me too. I’m flailing around in Boulder like a fish out of water with no direction in my life. Just mindlessly flopping around, hoping someone picks me up and releases me back into the water. But if they don’t hold my tail and release me before I’m ready, I’m freaking dead!
The walls are closing in all around me, and because I don’t want to have a complete meltdown in front of my brother’s girlfriend, I plaster on a fake smile, and say, “Okay…well, thanks for the talk, Kate. You’ve given me a lot to think about. I’m going to finish getting ready now!”
Kate freezes, staring at me with guilt-stricken eyes. “Megan, can I give you some advice?”
“No, thank you…I’m all set right now!” I exclaim, trying to ignore the high-pitched hysteria in my voice. I need to get myself back together!
I hop off the bed and make my way over to the door. “I think I’m going to give Sterling a call before we leave, so I’d better hurry and finish getting ready.”
Kate rises from the bed and slinks over to me, her eyes piercing through me the entire time. When she reaches me, she leans on the door frame and crosses her arms over her chest. “Meg, c’mon. Just tell me the truth.”
“I’m good,” I reply and shake my head. “I swear, I’m all good. Thanks for the chat, though.”
Finally, she shakes her head slowly and walks out of the room, leaving me alone with this mess I’ve created my darn self.
My phone call with Sterling goes a direction I never expected it to. He actually propositions me for phone sex—something we’ve never done before. Like…ever. I mean, we’re not even officially back together, so in some ways, I’m slightly offended. But then I wonder why I’m not excited by this prospect. It’s a shift in our texting dynamic. Is he finally seeing me differently now? Less basic?
However, if I am so much less basic, why did the notion of sexting with Sterling horrify me so much? When I did some light sexting with Sam…it was easy and completely natural. It was fun!
What just happened with Sterling was awkward as fuck. So awkward that my response was to blurt out that I was at Taco Bell getting a chalupa and I’d call him later. I hung up like a flipping psychopath just as Miles yelled that it was time for us to go.
Now I’m sandwiched in a truck between my brother and Kate and feeling like a kid forced to go out with her parents when all I want to do is order a chalupa and eat my feelings.
The biggest thing I’m trying to figure out is why Sterling’s suggestion didn’t excite me as much as it did with Sam. Two weeks ago, I would have killed to have him suggest phone sex with me because surely that’s a sign he wants to get back together. Now, it just feels…odd.
I’m no longer able to inwardly freak out about my Sterling call because Miles pulls up in front of our first stop for the night. It’s a place called Rayback Collective—an architectural warehouse with food trucks on the outside and a giant community bar that has a stage and lounge areas with loads of tables and couches on the inside.
I follow Miles and Kate inside, where we find Sam sitting at a high-top table in the corner. He’s talking to the waitress and butterflies take flight in my belly because he doesn’t look like the Sam I’m used to. He’s like…sexy Sam—which I didn’t even know was a thing.
He’s wearing a pair of dark denim jeans with a small tear on the thigh and a pale blue button-down that reveals just a sliver of that sculpted chest I know intimately. With his gelled hair swept off to the side and freshly trimmed beard, he looks so different. He’s not the rugged, manly sort of hot that he always is. Tonight, he’s…mouth-wateringly hot. I swear I even hear JT singing,“I’m bringing sexy back”inside my damn head!
And for some reason, I’m annoyed with how friendly that waitress is. Sam suddenly turns his head, and his eyes find mine as we make our way through the crowd. It isn’t until Miles claps him on the back in a bro hug that he finally looks away and acknowledges his best friend.
“How was your first day as the official owner of Tire Depot, asshat?” Miles asks, dropping down onto the stool next to Sam.
“I only thought about firing you nineteen times so, all in all, a great day.” Sam stands up to pull the stool out across from him for me to sit on.
Kate’s eyes flash curiously at me as I take the seat. She slides in beside me and elbows me with a smirk. I glance over to see if Miles has noticed any of this and exhale with relief when he’s busy talking to the waitress.
He looks over at Kate. “You want an IPA, babe?”
“Ha-ha,” she replies while rolling her eyes. “I’ll have a margarita.”
