Page 24 of Payback
SEATED AT MY DESK OUTSIDEof my boss’ office on the West End of London, my finger hovers over the delete button on my phone for the fifty thousandth time in the past two years since I realised that I accidentally recorded a sex video of me and Roan DeWalt.
“Delete it, Allie,” I murmur as I spin in my desk chair. “Just delete it and move on with your life! It’s even more important now that he’s backinyour life!”
I exhale and have the same exact conversation with myself that I’ve had countless times before.The video was an honest mistake. You were in a very vulnerable place in your life and maybe a little too focused on a crazy revenge scheme because you’d just had your heart broken by two people you trusted.
Then another voice in my head says,Don’t delete it! You look beautiful and powerful! And whenever you feel like you might not be good enough and all those insecurities that Ghost Penis, Rosalie, and your father have inflicted on you come raging into your mind, the video reminds you that you’re a total badass!
My mind is a traitorous bitch who really needs to get her shit together.
What does my mind have to say about the fact that I touch myself every time I watch the video? What ridiculous defence can I come up with for that in my corrupted, horrible conscience?
It’s a hot video!
Shut up mind! You’re embarrassing yourself.
Sort of like how I embarrassed myself at the club two nights ago when I ran into Roan. My body flushes from the memory of him leaning into me like he wanted to kiss me. Holy shit was I not prepared for that. I mean, I knew I’d run into him eventually, but I figured he’d ignore me like all the other jersey chasers whom I’m sure he’s dicked and dismissed since he last saw me. In all honesty, I thought I had imagined the chemistry we shared or that I had inflated it in the past couple of years after replaying the video one too many times.
But then, there he was, waiting for me outside of the bathroom like he had to seek me out. That moment made me realise that there was a reason I knew I’d never do anything with the video the minute I walked out of that hotel room.
It’s Roan.
He’s not a faceless nobody, even if I could have edited the video down and clipped off all the offensive scenes that show his face. In the course of our glorious sex marathon that was so mind-blowing I probably would have thought it was a dream if I didn’t have a horribly inappropriate and nonconsensual sex video on my cell phone, I sort of fell for the guy. And apparently I decided I needed to keep the video of him to remind myself of that fact.Good-god, I’m going to hell.
“Allie, I have to head to Liverpool today for some meetings,” Niall’s voice booms as he strides out of his office.
I scramble to close the video and not look like the guilty sex offender I am. “Liverpool?” I ask, my voice high and official and maybe a tad squeaky.
He frowns curiously at me. “Yes, and I need you to do something kind of important for me.”
“Okay, sure. What do you need?” I ask, shoving my phone into my drawer and quickly closing the employee handbook where I had been reading up on the policies of interoffice relationships. Annoyingly, there is no policy section on dating clients or possessing a sex video of said clients.Shocking.
I grab a notebook and pen and gaze up at Niall as he looms over me in his expensive suit. His spicy cologne invades my senses when he splays his hands out on my desk. “I received a call today from the Get Fit Britain charity, and they had a proposition for me I couldn’t refuse.”
I nod and pointlessly write down Get Fit Britain at the top of my notebook while Niall shifts to perch himself on the edge of my desk.
“They are in the process of raising funds for their nonprofit through a Win A Date Campaign, which features two athletes from select Premier League teams. They’re asking viewers to donate for a chance to be their date for their formal charity gala happening in a couple of months.”
“Oh, how cool!” I reply with wide eyes. “I’ve seen some of those videos circulating. People are going nuts for those athletes.”
“Exactly,” Niall confirms with an annoyed roll of his eyes. “I don’t know why women go so crazy for athletes over here. In America, a nice suit and a high-rise office is what impresses. Apparently in England, it’s muddy uniforms and low IQs.”
I press my lips together, holding back the snappy response that is on the tip of my tongue. An argument with my boss is not the drama I need in my life right now.
Niall fiddles with his watch and continues, “Get Fit Britain thought that since the Bethnal Green club has recently been promoted, perhaps we’d want to have a couple of our players involved in the promotion.”
“For sure!” I reply excitedly. “That’d be great exposure.”
“Right…Well, I’m glad you agree because I’m leaving you in charge. The agency has selected Roan DeWalt and Maclay Logan to be our stars because they’re young and single, but I want you to do some research on their backgrounds to confirm that they really are as squeaky clean as the agency believes them to be.”
“Squeaky clean?” I ask curiously, trying to ignore the physical reaction my body has to the fact that we are talking about Roan.
“Correct. Look through their files, do some digging.” Niall leans in closer to me, his voice taking on a lower tone as he adds, “Those players whore themselves out to anything with legs. The last thing we need is to feature a player with illegitimate children scattered all over the world.”
My face cringes at his response and Niall huffs out a laugh. “Did that offend your precious virtue, Allie? What’s it like to be so young and innocent?”
I swallow a knot in my throat because I’m certainly not that innocent, but that’s not something I wish to discuss with my boss. Instead, I clear my throat and ask, “So, if the two players you mentioned are squeaky clean?”
He pulls back, that business mask returning to his face as he straightens his tie. “Then I need you to head over to Tower Park when they’re done with their training at three o’clock and go over the script they need to say on camera.”
