Page 35 of Blindsided
“A spark or something,” I state, having flashbacks to Freya’s lips on mine in my bedroom and how that seriously awakened the beast inside me. “It wasn’t there before. Not as much, at least.”
Roan frowns, clearly not believing me.
“But the minute she started talking about dating other blokes, I started seeing her in a new light.”
“A sexual light,” Roan offers helpfully.
“Aye, sure, whatever you want to call it. I know we won’t end up together. I don’t want to settle down, and even if I did, I drive her bloody nuts. We’d never make it as a couple. But maybe…maybe if we…give in to these urges…we can get back to the way we used to be…before.”
“Before you saw her in a sexual light?”
“It sounds daft when you put it like that,” I growl, wondering why the fuck I agreed to be this arsehole’s best man. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
I move to head into my bedroom, and Roan reaches out and presses his hand to my shoulder. “I’m sorry for teasing you, man. I just want you to be careful.”
“Careful?” I ask with a frown.
“You remember what it was like when Cami ended things with you.”
I inhale sharply at his mention of her name. “The problem with Cami was that it went on for too damn long. I became dependent on her, and when she ended it, I was fucked in the head. That was my problem, not hers.”
I cringe when I think back to some of the worst games of my career last season after we split. Coach threatened to bench me on more than one occasion. I can’t say I blame him. All I could think about while I was out on that pitch was the advice my grandad gave me as a wee child about staying far away from women or they’ll mess up my game.
He was right.
It wasn’t until I started seeing Cami again, truly as just friends, that my game began to improve again. It was a serious mindfuck.
“I wouldn’t do this long-term with Freya,” I state by way of explanation. “She’s different than Cami.”
Roan nods, clearly believing my words. “Then I think it can be okay. As long as you’re both clear on what it is exactly.”
“Just sex,” I confirm. “Just the one time.”
“Right.” He shrugs and shoots me a weird smile. “You’ll be all right.”
My brows furrow because he has a strange sort of look on his face that could be interpreted differently. But I don’t want to interpret it differently. I want this to work. I need this to work. I ignored Freya for days after our kiss because I wasn’t sure I could stand not to kiss her again if I saw her. Us having sex together, doing this, it’ll help scratch that itch and get us back on track.
Fuck me, I hope she says yes.
I make my way into my bedroom, and my phone pings, indicating a text message has come through. I flop down onto my bed and pull it out of my pocket to see it’s a text from Freya.
Cookie: Are you wanting to back out?
Me: Is this some kinky sex position you’re propositioning? Cookie, I really think your first time shouldn’t involve the back door.
Cookie: Shut up, you cow. I just mean…do you want to back out on your offer of The Sex.
I don’t even try to fight my smile.
Me: Christ, seeing it in text is even worse than when you say it out loud. Promise me after I shag you, you’ll stop calling it THE Sex.
Cookie: So this means you’re not backing out?
Me: Cookie, I wouldn’t have offered something I’m not fully committed to providing. I’m a doer.
Cookie: That’s what she said.
Me: That’s what you’ll say.
