Page 78 of Blindsided
I’m kitted out in a ballet pink chiffon dress also made by Leslie. It’s a Grecian-inspired gown with a slit up the front and a soft V neckline with off-the-shoulder frills that wrap around my arms.
It’s funny how this was the day that got me in such a fuss over finding a date in the first place. This day right here is the reason Mac started coaching me, the reason Mac kissed me in his bedroom, the reason Mac sabotaged my date with Santino, and the reason I told Mac I was still a virgin and we began sleeping together.
This day was the reason I fell in love with my best friend.
Yet, despite all these new experiences and feelings, I can’t help but look at Allie and me in the mirror next to each other, and think,Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.
“Okay, ladies. It’s almost time!” the wedding planner says, poking her head in through the door of the dressing room where we’re waiting inside Temple Church London. “They’re ushering the last few people to their seats, and then I’ll come back and get you two.”
She rushes off, and I turn to Allie, who’s fidgeting with her bouquet of pink roses. “Are you nervous?”
“Not nervous,” she replies, lifting the flowers to her nose. “Just ready to get this over with.”
My lips pull back with a smile. “That’s a funny way to look at your wedding day.”
Allie rolls her eyes. “I’m just ready to start my life with Roan, you know? This day is exciting, but I’m more interested in the normal days. The days of kissing each other goodbye on our way to work or when I pick him up at the airport after he’s been playing abroad for a while. Or hell, even the nights we argue over what to eat for dinner. That’s what I’m most looking forward to. Is that weird?”
I smile and shake my head. “Not weird. You’re just describing contentment.”
Allie nods. “Contentment. Yes. That’s what I’m ready for. Dull and painfully ordinary contentment.”
My smiles falls when I realise that I felt more content with Mac these past few weeks than I have my entire life. Now I don’t know what I feel.
Allie seems to pick up my mood shift. “What’s going on with you and Mac?”
“Nothing.” I shake my head. “This is your day, and we should be talking about you.”
Allie levels me with a stare. “Freya, if it’s my day, we can talk about what I want to talk about, and I want to talk about you and Mac.”
I roll my eyes and shrug. “I don’t know exactly. I thought Scotland was going to be the beginning of something big for us. But ever since we got back to London, he’s been distant.” I look up at her watching me in the mirror and shrug. “How is it possible to feel someone pulling away when they’re literally right beside you?”
Allie’s brows pinch together. “Maybe his head just needs time to catch up to his heart?”
I nod and try to accept her words as truth. They are similar to the ones I’ve been telling myself over and over again.
“Ladies, it’s time!” a voice says.
Allie looks to me with a smile. “Let’s go get my dull and painfully ordinary contentment, shall we?”
We walk through several hallways until we reach the narthex just outside the sanctuary. It’s a bit of chaos because Allie decided to have her cousins’ children all be flower girls and ring bearers, and the scene we’re walking into is the Harris wives all doing their best to wrangle their adorable children into their proper places.
So first you have Sloan’s daughter, Sophia, who’s dressed in a pale pink gown like mine. She’s holding the handle of a small wagon decorated in tulle that contains Belle and Indie’s one-year-olds, Joey and Bex. Then there’s Vi’s three-year-old, Rocky, who’s currently tipping over her basket of flower petals while her mummy tries to scoop them back up. After that, you have Booker and Poppy’s twin boys, Teddy and Oliver, who are currently fighting over the ring pillow that thankfully has fake rings on it, because no one would ever dream of trusting those two little hellers with expensive jewelry. And finally, you have Sloan and Gareth’s wee one, Milo, who’s supposed to be in the wagon, but who is currently running away from Sloan like his pants are on fire.
All of them are adorable little nightmares in white fluffy dresses and tuxedos, and I glance over at Allie, who’s laughing at the scene unfolding.
The wedding planner lines me up to walk in. “You go first, and these little terrors will follow, God willing.”
The organ swells with a music change and the doors open to a full church. The Harris Brothers are front and centre, poking their heads out from the crowd to see how their wee ones are doing behind me. The wedding planner gives me a shove, and I do my best to make my way down the aisle elegantly.
I see Roan first, his smile large and genuine as he meets my eyes. My gaze slowly drifts past him to find Mac. He’s dressed in a smart tuxedo that fits him perfectly because I altered it myself. His strawberry blond hair is freshly cut and styled cleanly, giving him a sophisticated look that’s so at odds with the wild Scotsman that I know lives inside of him.
As his eyes drink in my body, I can’t help but think about what it’d be like if this were my wedding day. And if I was walking down the aisle as a bride instead of a bridesmaid. The fantasy should give me butterflies, but it actually causes a pit to form in my belly. Before Mac, I didn’t have dreams of a happily ever after. I didn’t wish for a man to get down on one knee or think about how I’d feel walking down the aisle to marry him. Now that I’ve fallen for him, all that has changed.
I want more.
And it’s terrifying.
When I find my position across from Mac, he eyes me fondly for a moment before mouthing, “Bonnie.” And there goes that pit growing in my belly as he smirks at me like he’s seen me naked. Well, because he has.
