Page 31 of Blindsided
“Don’t just stand there like an idiot,” I hiss, ready to strangle him for his reaction because it’s only adding fire to the flames of my embarrassment.
Finally, Mac shakes his head and turns to look at me, his eyes narrowing. “You’re fucking with me, right?”
I gape at him. “Why would I fuck with you about something so pathetic?” I pin him with a furious glower. “I’m serious, Mac. I’m an almost thirty-year-old virgin. I’ve never had The Sex, and I’m sadly inexperienced.”
Mac’s mouth opens in shock again as he moves to sit beside me, stretching his long legs out in front of him. The corner of his mouth tips up as he softly laughs. “You’re not a virgin. You would have told me.”
“Oh, just like you would have told me why you hate Santino?” I retort, bringing him up short.
All humour vanishes from his face as he turns to look at me, his brows furrowed sharply together. “But when I started coaching you, you said you were just having a dry spell. To have a dry spell means you would’ve had to have been wet at one point.”
I shake my head. “You took it that way, and I didn’t bother to correct you. But honestly, Mac, think about it. You know me. Do you think I really would have agreed to let you be my love coach if I was just having a dry spell?”
“Christ, woman,” he snaps, his eyes dropping down my body like he’s seeing me in a new light. “You’re a fucking virgin, and you never told me? I’m your best mate! Why wouldn’t you share that information with me?”
“We don’t talk about The Sex!” I exclaim defensively.
“I know, but this seems like something you should have mentioned to me at some point.” He stands up and begins pacing in front of me, shaking his head like he’s just been told the world is round for the first time and he can’t fully wrap his mind around it. “Christ, a virgin?”
“Would you stop saying it like it’s that big of a deal?” I snap, my entire body folding in on itself with embarrassment.
“It is a big deal,” he replies, stopping his pacing to glower down at me with his hands on his hips.
“It’s not a big deal to me!” I exclaim and stand up to meet him eye to eye. Well, more like eye to chest. “I’m not saving myself or something. It’s not some religious thing, and it’s not for lack of trying. I’ve put myself out there in the past, in all my awkward glory, and it just never happened for some reason,” I huff, angry that I have to explain how romantically unlucky I’ve been. “Then I just got tired of trying so hard, so I took a break and focused on my career. A long break, I suppose. But I’m done with all that now. I’m eager to get shot of my maiden tag as soon as possible, which is why I thought going out on a date with Santino would be a good idea. Especially if he’s experienced like you say.”
Mac’s face contorts. “What the actual fuck is a maiden tag?”
I flush, not realising I said that bit out loud. Shrugging, I reply, “It’s what my gran called my virginity.” I cross my arms over my chest, suddenly feeling very exposed under the London night sky.
Mac visibly tremors. “You’re not giving yourmaiden tagto that fucking arsehole,” he seethes, finally realising what my last comment meant.
“Well, not now obviously,” I reply with agitation. “You basically ruined that chance for me.”
“Good,” he retorts.
“Not good for me!” I snap and jut my chin up at him. “I don’t know what your problem is with Santino, but you are my friend, so I’ll trust you and stay away from him. But you have to understand that you can’t protect me from everything, even if you do fancy yourself my love coach. I’m going to lose my virginity to someone at some point, and he’s probably not going to be perfect.”
“I can’t believe I didn’t know you’re a virgin,” Mac replies, staring down at me, his eyes softening around the edges. “I’m a shite love coach.”
I laugh at his candid response and then reach up to brush his hair off his forehead. Thank God, he sounds like Mac again—the guy who has the decency not to laugh when I cry during emotional scenes onHeartland.
He closes his eyes, and his entire body relaxes into my caress. When he opens them, his green eyes hold something in them that I’ve never seen before. Tenderness, perhaps?
“I’m sorry, Cookie,” he croaks, his voice low as he wraps his inked arms around my shoulders and crushes me to his hard body. “I shouldn’t have barged in like that. I just see red when it comes to that guy.”
I exhale against his chest and breathe in his familiar scent of soap and detergent. “Someday you’re going to have to tell me why.”
I feel his head nod as it rests on top of mine. “Someday maybe I will.”
I pull back and smile softly up at him. “I’m going to bed. Having my friend cause a scene on a rooftop in London has a surprisingly exhausting effect on me.”
He shoots me a rueful smile as he grips the back of his neck. “Sorry about that.”
I shrug. “There wasn’t a love connection with Santino anyway. I’ll find some other sorry bloke to hand my maiden tag off to.” Mac grimaces, and I reach up to playfully chuck his chin. “Come on, love coach. Talking about my virginity label shouldn’t make you so uncomfortable.”
He laughs awkwardly, and then I give him a quick squeeze before waving goodbye and heading inside.
I’ve just stepped inside the lift when Mac suddenly slips in through the door before it closes on him. “Most people lose their virginity at sixteen,” he says, seemingly out of breath for some odd reason.
