Page 34 of Take A Number
Dean shakes his head like I’m a sad, sick puppy in need of life-saving surgery, and he’s the vet who’s going to give it to me. He steps closer, his hands cupping my arms as he gazes at me. “Look, I was kind of joking in the car before, but now I’m serious, Norah. We need to have sex. We’re both single, and we’re both uninterested in a long-term thing. We’re both using each other for the next few weeks, so why not take it a step further and make the most of this situation? I mean…are you not even remotely attracted to me?”
I bark out a really un-sexy laugh and shake his hands off me. “Do you know a single woman in all of Colorado who isn’t attracted to you?”
He licks his lips and crosses his arms over his chest, causing his shirt to tighten around his sculpted arms. “The jury is still out on you. I’ve made my attraction to you very clear for a long time now. But I can’t get a read on you. Are you just uptight or are you genuinely not interested in changing this fake relationship into a friends-with-benefits arrangement?”
“I’m not uptight,” I volley back, hating how he calls me out every time I don’t fall to my knees and do what he says. “I don’t think it’s wise for us to blur the lines. I have two bakeries to run right now, and my life is only going to get busier once the franchise options open. My mother is breathing down my neck for grandchildren I’ll never give her. My father is making me feel guilty for upsetting her. I don’t have time to pee, let alone have sex.” I point at my suitcase and stomp my foot. “That pink vibrator gets the job done in less time than my twenty-minute croinut recipe, so excuse me for preferring efficiency.”
Dean’s stunned as he blinks back at me. “That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard, Norah.”
My hands ball into tight fists. “Choose your next words carefully, Moser, or you’ll be sleeping outside with the sprinklers tonight.”
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” He steps back and lifts his hands up in surrender. “If pinkie in there is all you need, more power to you. I just thought you could use a little more fun in your life.”
“I have fun,” I mumble and cross my arms over my chest to pout.
He lifts his brows and offers me a wry smile. “Well, just know the offer is out there. I can accomplish a lot in twenty minutes.”
He shoots me a dirty wink, and my nostrils flare as I point at the door. “Just get out so I can get ready for the night, please.”
He laughs and turns to leave while I head into the bathroom for a cold shower. Very, very cold.
“You guys,” Lynsey slurs, her eyes hooded as she clutches her tropical drink to her chest, and we all sit around the enormous outdoor firepit. “I’m terrified that sex isn’t as good for Josh anymore.”
“What?” we all coo back soothingly.
“Why would you say that?” Kate asks, pinning her friend with a serious look that is at complete odds with her drunkenness.
Lynsey cringes and points at her groin. “A baby came out of here…a big baby.”
“A beautiful baby,” Maggie trills with her sweet, perky voice. She’s the youngest of this group, and her innocence is kind of adorable.
“The most beautifulest baby ever.” Lynsey takes another drink. “But…a human being was extracted from that small orifice.”
“So, what?” Kate slaps her hand on her thigh and leans forward so the fire illuminates her face. “What’s the problem?”
“The problem is that I’m worried when Josh and I have sex it’s like a hot dog down a hallway down there.”
Kate erupts into a full-on belly laugh while I glance nervously over to Henley, who’s an outsider like me. We both look around, not sure if we join Kate in the laughter or give sympathetic eyes to Lynsey. It’s a sticky situation.
The catered dinner on the veranda was beautiful and civilized. We drank wine and chatted about the upcoming wedding and honeymoon Miles and Kate are going on afterward. Lynsey even had Miles fill out this adorable little quiz about Kate that showed how much he knows her. It was really sweet.
Now we’ve moved to the fancy firepit and downgraded to ice buckets of whatever drinks Kate found in Max’s fridge, and the conversation has taken a turn for the worst if we’re using the phrase “hot dog down a hallway.”
“Why are you laughing, Kate? I’m being serious!” Lynsey whines, setting her drink down and crossing her arms into a pout.
Kate attempts to regain control of herself and reaches into the ice bucket for another drink. “Let me ask you a serious question, Lyns.” She cracks a White Claw. “Have you been having G-spot orgasms with Josh since you had Julianna? Not just clitoral orgasms…but the inside magic tunnel Os.”
“Yes, those are my favorite,” Lynsey replies back quickly.
Kate gestures with her can knowingly. “Then there you have it. Women with big vaginas would never have G-spot stimulation…that’s just science. Trust me, I write erotica for a living…I’m basically a doctor of boning.”
“Can you not say things like that?” Maggie murmurs and sips her beer with a disgusted look on her face that makes me giggle. “You’re marrying my brother, and this is going to give me nightmares.”
“Do you do Kegels?” Henley asks, breaking the outsider silence pact I thought we had. Up until this moment, the whole evening was feeling like a dinner theater. Now if Henley is going to participate in the conversation, I suppose I should too. Her blue eyes flit toward the fire. “My older sister has had three kids so she’s been doing Kegels for years. She says her sex life is great.”
Lynsey exhales and nods. “I was doing them for a while, but I quit. I’ll start them back up.”
“Smart.” Kate taps her temple. “I’ve heard good things about Kegels. I, on the other hand, am really hoping for a C-section situation for our future children so I can keep it all high and tight down yonder. I’m not a fan of cardio, and Kegels seem dangerously close to cardio.”
