Page 80 of Take A Number
“Yes, real,” she replies with a laugh, and her eyes blink hesitantly. “I’m suggesting we not break up. We just…see how this goes for a while. We clearly enjoy each other’s company, right?” She looks at me with wide, innocent eyes that are painful to look at.
“I thought you didn’t want a real boyfriend,” I state through clenched teeth as an ominous feeling creeps over my body.
Norah shrugs, and a shy smile flits over her face. “I thought so too…but the past few weeks have made me realize there’s more to life than work and growing my empire. It felt good to have a partner…and not just any partner…you.” She glances at me with wide, hopeful eyes. “You’ve kind of opened my mind to other possibilities, Dean. I mean hell, last night when people kept telling us we were going to get married next…I didn’t totally recoil at that idea, which is a huge development for me.”
“You can’t be serious,” I snap, reaching over and grabbing my glasses off the nightstand. This is a complete one-eighty from the girl I got to know a few weeks ago who swore off men for bakeries. What the hell is going on here?
“I’m not saying I want to marry you,” she huffs with a laugh. “I’m just saying my priorities have shifted a bit. God, I even had baby eyes for like a split second when I saw you hold Julianna’s little hand during that wedding. I mean, clearly, I’m not serious about that, but even the glimmer of that thought has never happened to me before. It feels meaningful for me.”
“Well, congratulations,” I bark, my tone scathing.
She flinches as if I slapped her. “What does that mean?”
I lick my lips and slide my jaw from side to side. “I’m glad you’ve had this epiphany and want a completely different life, but that doesn’t change anything for me.”
“It doesn’t?”
“No. Jesus, Norah,” I huff, scrubbing my hand over my forehead with clear agitation. “I only agreed to this fake relationship because I thought you and I were on the same page. At what point did you flip the fucking script?”
She folds in on herself, her shoulders hunched. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” I throw my legs off the side of the bed and grab my boxer briefs up off the floor. I pull them on and turn to hit her with a menacing glower. “Was it all bullshit?”
“Was what bullshit?”
“You acting like you didn’t want a relationship. Telling me you wanted bakeries, not babies. Your mother drama. Your Paris dreams. Were you just using me to make Douche Mixer Nate jealous or something?”
“Nate? What?” She slides off the bed and wraps the sheet tightly around her body. “Nate has nothing to do with this.”
“Okay, well, I guess I don’t know what to believe from you anymore.”
“Why would you say that?” she asks, hitting me with puppy dog eyes that completely gut me.
“Because I feel betrayed,” I snap, my voice rising so loudly it rattles the light fixture above us. “You claimed you were Team No Relationship. No marriage. No kids. Miss Fake Sexing is a Thing and now you want a real boyfriend? This isn’t what I signed up for. This is messy.”
“This isn’t messy…you and I aren’t messy. Last night wasn’t just casual sex, Dean. You made love to me.” Her voice quivers at the end, causing me to look at her just as her chin begins to tremble.
“Oh please,” I scoff and run a tense hand through my hair while trying to ignore the emotions she’s projecting so she won’t get mixed signals. I need to be very clear right now. “That wasn’t making love.”
“I disagree,” she snaps, stomping her foot on the hardwood floor. “I might not be as experienced as you are, but I know what I felt. That wasn’t just sex. The look in your eyes—”
“Is the look in every man’s eye when they go bareback for the first time,” I growl, my temper boiling over to a place I’m not proud of. To a place that feels raw and exposed and everything I never want to show anyone.
Norah gasps at my guttural words hanging in the room like a thick, dirty fog that can’t be cleared. I can’t take them back, no matter how much I want to. With trembling hands, she bends down and grabs her bra and panties from the floor. She stomps into my bathroom and shuts herself inside with a loud thud.
I begin pacing and jam my hands through my hair because I hate myself right now. I hate hurting her like this because she doesn’t deserve it. Maybe my mother was right, and I am my fucking father. And if that’s the case, it’s better that Norah knows now, not after a real breakup that crushes her completely. This is what’s best for both of us.
Norah emerges from the bathroom in her underwear, and I move toward her slowly, feeling a desperate need to de-escalate this. “I’m sorry for that comment, Norah. That was mean. You caught me by surprise.”
“How did I catch you by surprise? You’re not that stupid, Dean,” she cries, her red-rimmed eyes killing me inside. She shakes her head and pins me with an accusatory glare. “All this time together you manipulated me to have more fun…to let go…to change the core of who I am. And silly me, I thought you were having fun too. I thought what we had was unique andreal, not fake. Then when I decide I like letting go and I might want more, you accuse me of coming out of nowhere with this? Go to hell!”
“Norah, stop.” My face crumples, and I desperately want to reach out and pull her into my arms and take this pain away from her, from both of us. She’s right. We have been more than casual. But if I admit that right now, I’m sending her more mixed signals. This can’t happen. “I’m just not a long-term kind of guy.”
Her head jerks back. “Yet you professed your love to Kate and you volunteered to be Lynsey’s baby daddy.”
“Because they’re my friends. I’m safe with them.” Can’t she see that they are different? That she is different?
“And you’re not safe with me?”
