Page 93 of Take A Number
Her chin juts out, and she shoots a knowing look at Kate. “He’s more messed up than we thought.”
“Shit, you’re right,” Kate confirms, standing up and walking closer like she’s going to examine me. “I really thought setting him up with someone nice would fix him. Can you do therapy on him, Lyns?”
“Doubtful. He’s too far gone.”
“Guys, stop talking about me like I’m some charity case. I’m getting really tired of it.”
Kate tsks. “You pretty much are.”
“Jesus,” I groan and turn to walk into the kitchen and grab myself a beer. Who cares that it’s only ten o’clock in the morning? “Is it time for you guys to leave yet?”
“We aren’t going until we fix this,” Kate says matter-of-factly.
“There’s nothing to fix.” I stand at the counter that I can’t look at without thinking about Norah. “I can’t be Norah’s boyfriend, even if she still wanted me. I said some fucked-up shit to her, and I messed with her mind because selfishly, it felt good to be with her. I let my guard down and ignored all the signs that feelings were involved, which makes me a selfish prick because I knew our fake arrangement was ending.” I huff out a self-deprecating laugh. “God…I would have done my father proud.”
“You are not your father, you big dumb idiot,” Lynsey bellows and holds her hand out to Kate for help out of the beanbag chair. Once Kate’s yanked her up, Lynsey stomps over to me with her hands on her hips. God, she really is a mom now. “Dean, you are the warmest, most generous guy I know…I mean, my husband is great, but he’s a solid fifty percent dickhead, and I still love him like crazy. You have a much lower dick ratio than Josh, so you certainly deserve love too.”
Kate laughs knowingly. “She’s not lying, Dean. And you tolerate your mother like a fucking saint. I would have bagged off on her years ago if I were you.”
“She’s my mom,” I state defensively through clenched teeth.
“I know, but give yourself some credit. She’s a toxic relationship for you, yet you grin and bear it, treating her with so much unconditional love and respect. You are amazing.”
“I feel sorry for her. I mean, Jesus, look what blind love did to her. She’s so bitter she can’t hold down a functional relationship. If I turned into that or, God forbid, I turned Norah into that…I’d never be able to forgive myself.” The image of Norah turning into my mother slices through me like a knife.
“Dean,” Lynsey groans, pain evident in her voice. “You are not your mother or your father. You are your own person. Just as Kate and I are our own persons. Do you look at the two of us and think our marriages are going to fail?”
“No,” I huff honestly. “You guys found unicorns or whatever. Kate, you love Miles’s macho alpha male, jealous bullshit, and Lynsey, you’re the perfect antidote for Dr. Dick’s psycho intensity.”
“And you pulled Norah out of her shell more than I’ve ever seen her,” Kate states sincerely as she pins me with a serious look. “I’ve seen Norah at Rise and Shine Bakery for years, and she’s never looked as happy as she did when she was with you. You two were in your own little world. It was adorable. And she really cut loose with us girls in Aspen. I mean, when she put that mint oil on her vajayjay, I swear to God, I almost peed my pants.”
“I did pee my pants,” Lynsey confirms with a giggle. “Having a baby totally messed up my bladder control. But the wet pants were worth it because we had so much fun with Norah.”
I shake my head sadly because I knew she would fit in with my friends without even trying. But it doesn’t silence that voice in my head that says, “But what if I hurt her?”
“It might happen,” Kate says urgently as she walks over and grabs my arm so I look at her. “Both Lynsey and I have had moments where our relationships looked like they were doomed. But have you forgotten that you were the guy helping us put it all back together?”
I cringe as I think back to that stupid carburetor Kate, Lynsey, and I drove up into the mountains to find for Miles when Kate had screwed up royally with him. And hell, I took a punch to the face from Dr. Dick on Lynsey’s behalf, so I guess it’s easier for me to help them with their problems than it is for me to accept their help with my own.
“We’ll help you through all the bumps, Dean,” Kate adds, pinning me with so much sincerity I almost can’t believe it’s her. “Because every day you give your heart to someone, there’s a chance you won’t get it back. But every time they give you their heart in return…it makes the risk totally worth the reward. We all take risks with love every day.”
“God, that was beautiful.” Lynsey sighs.
“I’m a writer,” Kate says firmly.
I shake my head at her ridiculousness. “What if it’s too late? She’s doing everything she can to stay away from me. She’s going to fucking Paris for a few months.”
“Then go with her. Or wait for her. Or do long distance. But don’t let her go and meet a hot, sexy Parisian man and come home with a guy who has a bigger baguette than yours.”
“God, did you have to paint that visual?” Lynsey cringes with her nose wrinkled.
“Yes. I told you, I’m a writer,” she deadpans.
“So, what can I do then?” I ask, trying to redirect their focus because I’m starting to feel something intense in my gut that might have been there all along, but I ignored it because I didn’t realize what it was every time I looked at Norah. Grandpa always said your gut knows what your head hasn’t figured out yet.
“Her grand opening is tomorrow, right?” Kate asks, turning away and beginning to pace in my kitchen.
“Yeah, and she has a TV interview in the morning she wanted me to go with her to until I fucked everything up.”
