Page 107 of Sweeper
I turn on my heel and walk away, refusing to walk Vaughn through this mind fuck because no one walked me through it. He can fall in this mess just like I did.
Zander
My hands shake as I tear open the envelope that arrived in the mail over a week ago now. I inhale deeply, prepared to read the results that I already knew to be true. At the top of the sheet of paper are the words:Confirmed paternal match.
And there it is.
I set it down on the table next to the letter, staring at the two pieces of paper that have turned my whole world upside down. I should have opened this days ago. I should have come to terms with this reality before I stepped foot on that pitch today. Now, I’ve trashed my career and any chance I had of a meaningful relationship with Vaughn Harris.
And that’s the real issue here. I actually want to know him. I’ve spent the past few days a raging pile of anger because I was lying to myself about that. But I don’t just want to know him because he was a pro footballer and could replace my own dad. My dad is untouchable. He was a fucking legend without even trying.
But I look at that Harris family, and I can’t help but want to be inside of them. The times Daphney brought me around them, there was a feeling inside me that I was fighting so hard to ignore. A feeling of belonging. That only-child syndrome I fight so hard to deny lives inside me and makes me feel like I was cheated out of a life that could have enriched my own, not eclipsed. And that kills me because it’s like I’m spitting on the grave of my father, whose biggest fear was me caring more about them than him.
But the truth is, the day my dad died, I didn’t just lose him. I lost my mom too. And ever since that day, I have felt so fucking alone with information that I should not have tried to deal with on my own. That was why it was so easy for me to fall for Daphney. I was craving a connection with someone who was honest with me. She was overly honest. So honest that I didn’t even realize when it shifted from friends with benefits to heartfelt intimacy. She filled up all the empty spaces in my heart. I was able to latch on to something real that I could count on. She helped me remember that I was more than just this secret. My life was more than the lie my parents crafted.
And I lost her now too.
More guilt plagues me when I recall how horrible I was to Booker and Tanner and Vaughn. They wanted the best for me, and I pushed them away. It’s weird to care about people who had nothing to do with my life, but genetics are a strange and undeniable science. There is a connection there that feels important to me.
My thoughts are distracted when I hear voices whispering out in the hallway. Frowning, I walk over and yank the door open, expecting Link and Knight to come in guns blazing. They’ve been texting me since the match ended, and stopping by like this is pretty much their style. I fucking love them for it.
But it’s not them.
It’s my mom.
She’s dressed in a Bethnal Green jersey that has my number on it, and she’s clutching a plastic container in her hands.
“Mom?” I croak, my heart permanently lodged in my throat because even though she was here a few days ago, she doesn’t exist in this world for me.
“Congrats on the win,” she says, her voice shaking as she shoves the tub of cookies into my hands.
“What are you doing here? How? When?” I ask, my eyes blinking rapidly.
She looks off to the side nervously and murmurs something unintelligible. I step through the doorway to see who my mom is talking to. The air whooshes out of my lungs when I see who it is.
Daphney struggles to smile at me. “I’m sorry, I was just leaving.” She points at her door, but I notice she’s in green and white too.
“Were you two…together?” I inquire, unable to compute this image in my head.
My mom answers, her voice more stable than I’ve heard in a long time. “Yes, Daphney took me to the game today. You played so amazing, buddy! I couldn’t believe how good you were!”
My head jerks back, and I turn my eyes back to Daphney. “You took my mom to the game?”
She nods and holds her hands up. “Yes, and I’m sorry for interfering. It was completely out of line, but I talked to your mum at Old George, and she really wanted to see you play, so I just helped her out.” She shoots a wobbly smile over at my mom and blinks nervously back at me. “But I know you two have a lot to talk about, so I’ll leave you to it.”
She makes a move toward the stairs, and my voice is raw with emotion when I call out, “Please stay.”
She turns on her heel to look back at me. Her shoulders drop with such profound sadness, I feel it in my soul.
I shrug and struggle to say the next words. “You’re basically my only friend.” My eyes burn at that painful realization that I’ve irrevocably ruined the only relationship I care about right now.
Daphney lets out an audible gasp before closing the distance between us and wrapping her arms around my neck.
I stand frozen in shock with cookies in one hand while my other hand is seemingly stuck to my side. Daphney trembles against me, and that sensation snaps me out of my disbelief as I wrap my arms around her waist and squeeze her to me. We hold each other for a long moment, our bodies reuniting after what feels like years apart, when in reality, it was only days.
“I knew you weren’t just neighbors,” my mom tuts quietly under her breath, but not quietly enough.
Daphney and I both expel a nervous laugh as we pull apart and look at each other before separating. My hand grabs hers like a lifeline as I pull her close to me and look at my mom. “Should we have some cookies?” I offer her a half-smile, and my mom’s eyes well with tears as she nods eagerly.
