Page 49 of Sweeper
“Yes.” I drop my chin and eye her sternly.
“Then what is the problem?”
“My problem is, I thought I’ve been having orgasms my whole life. I’ve had five semi-serious boyfriends and had multiple sexual relations with all those blokes. I thought I’d been climaxing every time we shagged! However, I did always think it strange that I never moaned and groaned like people on the telly did. Nevertheless, I thought I was coming right along with my partners! I had no idea until last night that I never moaned before because I wasn’t even orgasming!”
Phoebe’s eyes turn to saucers. “Daphney Clarke, are you telling me that Zander Williams is the first bloke you’ve ever reached climax with?”
“Yes!”
“Oh, my God!”
“I know! That’s why I want to strangle you!”
“What did I do? I wasn’t even there!”
“You just…you never described it to me. You described everything else! I think I know every freckle on your nipple after last year.”
“Well, I thought I felt a lump. I needed a mate to have a proper look.” She crosses her arms over her chest protectively.
I sigh and rub her shoulder affectionately. “I understand, but Phoebe, somehow, in all the years of our friendship, you and I never descriptively discussed what an orgasm felt like. Which means I’ve spent the majority of my adult life thinking I knew…but after what happened to me last night, I now realize that everything in my past sexual experiences was a complete and utter lie. I mean…did I even have sex? Is it sex if you don’t climax?”
“Of course it’s sex. Don’t be daft.”
I exhale heavily. “I know, but Phoebe, what happened to my body last night was…mind-altering.”
Phoebe’s eyes alight with interest. “What did he do?”
I bite my lip and shake my head from side to side, still feeling stupefied by the whole ordeal. “I don’t think he did anything all that special. It just bloody worked. I felt like I’d been electrified. It was like this powerful current swept through me, and it was such a huge gush of release that I thought I wee’d.”
“Fucking brilliant.”
“I know!” I huff out an awkward laugh. “I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about how brilliant it was. And you’re a twat because we’re framily, and you should have set me straight years ago. What have I been missing all my life?”
“Well, you’re only twenty-six, so it’s safe to say you’re being a tad dramatic.”
I frown at her. “I feel like a new woman.”
“This conversation needs champagne.” Phoebe rises from her bed and walks out of the bedroom, her long satin nightie flowing dramatically behind her. I follow her into her whitewashed kitchen, where she grabs a bottle of champagne from her wine chiller and two flutes from her cupboard. She tops the bubbles off with a dash of cranberry juice and hands me one. “To your first sexual climax.”
Our glasses clink, and we both take a longer than appropriate drink for eight in the morning. Phoebe lowers her glass and hits me with a severe look. “Have you never masturbated before?”
“No,” I reply and take another swig. “I tried when I was younger, but it felt weird.”
“What did you try with?”
I wiggle my fingers at her.
“That’s your first mistake,” she scoffs and takes another sip. “You need a toy. It’s much less cardio. I’ll send you a link for a good vibrator. I have a voucher code for one and everything because I’m one of their influencers.”
“I don’t need a vibrator, Phoebe,” I snap, feeling frustrated at how I feel like a virgin all over again. “I don’t know what I need.”
“Well, you obviously need to thank me for encouraging you to have casual sex with the slutty footballer.” She crosses her arms as she holds her glass in front of her. “I mean, if it wasn’t for me, you’d still be having snoregasms.”
“God, you’re right.” I slump down onto one of her plush white barstools. “It’s just so weird because I thought all this time I was climaxing. I guess it just…felt good? And the fact that my first orgasm was with someone who pretty much drives me mental every day is messing with my mind. Do you think that makes me crazy? Like is this some weird kink I have?”
Phoebe props her chin in her hand. “No, I think it means you’re letting loose and having a bit of fun for once, Daph. I’ve been having fun for years, and my skin has never looked better.”
She gestures to her beautiful, flawless skin, and my brows lift.
