Page 92 of Sweeper
“I’m too emotional to talk.” He scrubs his hands over his face and shakes his head with disgust.
“That’s okay.” I press myself up beside him and lean my head on his shoulder. “Marisa hated fish but loved to fish in my parents’ pond. She could never do it without one of my brothers there to take the fish off the hook.”
Zander’s chest vibrates with a soft laugh before he inhales a deep, trembling breath. “My dad was a terrible soccer player.”
“Really?” I giggle and look up at him. “Where did you get it then?”
His brows knit together as he blinks up at the ceiling. “I’m not sure, but his lack of skill never stopped him from dribbling a ball around with me. I honestly think him being so terrible gave me wicked confidence.”
“That’s sweet.” I smile and continue watching him as I ask, “What was he good at?”
“He was a sudoku puzzle master,” Zander says with a playful lilt to his tone that makes my heart happy.
“So, that’s where your hobby comes from.” I tighten my grip around his arm and glance at the puzzle book he left on my end table earlier this week.
Zander smiles and nods. “He made me download this app where we could race each other on the same puzzles. We’d do it a lot when I was on the road for soccer.”
“Who would win?”
“Mostly him.” Zander laughs. “Once in a while, I’d beat him, and then he would tell me it was because he didn’t have his glasses on, or my mom was distracting him.”
“Competitive bloke then?”
“Oh, yes…and proud. Crazy proud.”
“Proud of what?” I ask, staring at our hands interlocked together and cherishing the intimacy of this moment.
“He was proud of me.” Zander’s voice cracks, and I look up to see his face bending with a pained smile. “I never doubted his pride in me. Or his love.”
My eyes well with tears as I watch him unpack that realization fully. “Your dad sounds lovely.”
“He was.” The muscle in Zander’s jaw tics. “I miss him every day.”
I kiss Zander’s shoulder, remaining silent as I watch him because I don’t think he’s talking to me right now.
“He was so easy to love. And he was just one of those good guys who was selfless in all things.”
I nod and see flashes of my sister. She was easy to love too. Warm and bright. Silly and forgiving. I idolized her and am to a point now where I’m grateful to have had the time I did have with her. I hope someday Zander can feel that way about his father, too.
Zander tucks his fingers under my chin and raises my face to look at him. “Thank you for tonight.”
“For making you cry?” I reply with a laugh. “Oh, anytime.”
He shakes his head. “Not just for tonight…just…thank you for being the one thing I can count on right now.”
My brows puzzle over that bizarre response. I open my mouth to ask what he means, but he leans forward and presses a tender kiss to my lips. I taste the salt of his tears as he pulls away and murmurs, “Now can we please go to sleep? After unloading all that baggage, I just want to fall asleep with you in my arms.”
“Of course,” I respond as we shift down into the bed, situating the covers over top of us.
I lay across Zander’s chest, and he kisses the top of my head and exhales a sigh that feels like it weighs a million pounds. I look up at him and say, “You should definitely talk about him more.”
Zander nods, his eyes already closed as he mumbles, “I will.”
I relish in the feel of his heartbeat beneath my palm and am shocked when only moments later, he’s sound asleep.
Zander
Iwake to the sound of distant knocking and am disoriented for a moment before realizing that I’m not in my own bed. I’m in Daphney’s bed, currently wrapped around her like she’s my own life-sized teddy bear. Well, this is certainly new for me.
