Page 102 of Seven Year Itch
LaRon’s brows furrow as he seems to struggle with what to say next. “Um... you’re drinking an appletini, though.”
“That drink isn’t mine.” I hold my hand up over my mouth in the shape of anO, nailing this character.
He frowns again and asks, “How about them apples?” He taps my boobs with the umbrella, and we both burst out laughing as I whack his umbrella away.
“This is serious apple business,” he gruffs, horribly fighting away his smile. “I saw you hiding behind the stone mill, and I know it was you I chased through the tasting room last week. I have my fermenting exams coming up, and I need those stolen apples or I’m going to have to call the police.”
“Wait.” I break character and frown up at him. “I thought I was the one with the fermenting exams. You’re the orchard owner.”
Calder’s face falls. “Shit, you’re right.”
“I told you we got too plot-heavy.”
“I know, all right, just go with it.” He clears his throat and resumes his character. “You don’t need to take that fermenting exam. I’ll teach you all about my hard cider.”
My eyes flash down to his groin. “I promise I can be such a good apple slut.”
“Calder!” a loud voice barks from behind me, and I swerve in my stool to see the lady who made me my drink. “Get away from that nice girl right now.”
“Judy, it’s fine. She’s my—”
“No, it’s not.” The woman looks down at me. “Sweetie, I’m sorry to tell you, but this guy is not the one for you.” She cuts menacing eyes back up at Calder. “You boys promised me you wouldn’t hit on anyone at my bar.”
“Judy, this is Dakota. She’s my...”
I tilt my head and smile, enjoying the panic and awkwardness all over this normally confident mountain man’s face.
“What am I, Calder?” I blink coyly up at him.
He frowns at me and then smiles. “She’s my brother’s wife’s best friend. We go way back.”
I roll my eyes. “Nice save.”
Calder looks back to Judy. “I promise this is consensual.”
“I know all about this animal,” I confirm, turning back around and grabbing a menu off the bar. “Thanks for having my back, though.”
Judy puffs out a noise. “Okay, sweetie. You just let me know if he gives you any trouble, okay?”
“Will do.” I wink at the sweet lady, who smiles and then shoots Calder a dirty look. “I like her.”
“Can I get a beer at least?” he calls down the bar to her, and she waves him off.
Eventually a pint appears in front of Calder before Judy murmurs under her breath, “If you ask me for cider, I’m throwing you out.”
When she walks away, we both burst out laughing again, horrified that she heard more than we intended her to.
“I take it you know her?” I ask, glancing back.
Calder sighs. “Yeah. Judy is good shit, and she doesn’t take any shit. She helps me out with Milkshake when we’re ever out of town.”
“Oh, that’s nice.” I smile at her. She gives me a dubious look like she’s trying to warn me off about Calder, but I feel pretty well informed about this mountain manwhore already.
“Sorry I got off track on our script there,” Calder says taking a big drink of his beer.
“Oh my God, it’s fine. Role-playing is so fun, though. I’m sure we’ll do better next time.”
“Next time?” Calder eyes me curiously.
