Page 75 of Honeymoon Phase
Her cheeks flush and finally I see a glimpse of my old friend poking through the hard outer shell. Her throat contracts before she says with a sigh, “I miss you too.”
“So let’s hang out tonight. Watch a movie,” I state firmly, tilting my head down to catch her downcast eyes. “IpromiseI won’t kiss you.”
Her cheeks flush and when she looks up at me, I swear I see disappointment flicker across her face. But she nods and says, “Okay, sure. Let’s hang tonight.”
“Good.” I exhale a sigh of relief. “I’ll bring home takeout. Any requests?”
She shakes her head. “Surprise me.”
“You got it, babe.” I make a move to brush her cheeks with my lips, but then think better of it. So, I step back and offer her a sideways smile instead. “See you tonight.”
I turn on my heel as her voice calls back, “See you later, husband.”
And that one word sends a flutter of need through my entire fucking body. Either she really is clueless about how I feel about her, or she knows exactly what she’s doing.
“Ew, I can’t handle the feel of his beak!” Roe squeals, dropping the walnuts out of her hand and back into a small glass bowl.
“I know,” I reply with a laugh as I rejoin her on the sofa. “It’s why I never hand-feed him. That sensation freaks me out too much.”
“Like tiny little pinches,” Roe confirms as she slides her hand down Rufus’s back. He’s standing on her lap as she sits on the couch. Our leftover sushi is on the coffee table, and we’ve been barely watchingYellowstonefor almost two hours because we can’t seem to stop talking long enough to listen.
It’s been nice. Like the old days. The awkwardness from before seems well and truly gone, and I feel like I got my best friend back.
Roe yawns and stretches, the hem of her shirt riding up to reveal her soft stomach, which I would really like to touch like I did when we were kissing two weeks ago. She looks so good tonight in her baggy T-shirt and tiny shorts, her muscular legs hidden under the blanket that Rufus is now nuzzled into. If itwere up to me, I would put that damn bird outside and get under that blanket with her.
But that’s not what tonight is. We’re not kissing. We’re not touching. We’re just... being friends.
Rufus jumps down off Addison’s lap, which usually means he needs to go to the bathroom, so I pick him up and set him out front for the night.
When I walk back into the living room, I glance at the clock, surprised how late it is already. “I didn’t realize what time it was. Do you want to go to bed yet?”
I pause when I realize how that sounded. It sounded like a husband asking his wife if she’s ready for bed. It sounded like we’d go to the same room and sleep together. God, would I love that. I’d even love to just stay on this couch all night with her if it meant I got to remain near her, breathing in her sweet familiar scent.
She shrugs. “You can crash if you want. I’m good here.”
I drop down on the sofa next to her again. “I’ve noticed your late-night bread baking is next level these past couple weeks.”
She glances at the fresh loaves sitting on the counter all bagged and ready to go. “Well, since I got the new bread pan from the yard guys, I’ve been trying to get a fresh loaf to all of them as a thank-you for the gift. I’m just about done.”
“That was really cool of them to give that to you,” I reply, stretching my denim-clad legs out, and stare at the crackling fire. “They all must love you.”
“Yeah, I guess, but I’m glad we got your mom to put ‘no gifts please’ on our wedding invitations. I feel super guilty accepting that pan from them considering this is all temporary.”
I wince and look away, trying to hide the sting from that sentence and then go back to what she mentioned earlier. “Have you ever seen a doctor for your insomnia?” I ask, noting thatsome days the dark circles under her eyes are more obvious than others.
“Yes,” she groans back and turns on her side to lay her head on the back of the sofa. “And I have meds that can help me sleep, but they make me feel awful the next day, so I try to only take them when I’m desperate.”
“What happens exactly when you try to go to sleep?” I stretch my arm out behind her, my fingers itching to push the loose strand of hair off her cheek.
“My mind won’t shut off.” She turns to face me, crossing her legs under the blanket. “My body is tired but my head races with things I need to do or conversations I’ve had with people that embarrass me. I worry about the future and the past... especially the past.”
“Like stuff about your brother?” I ask, my brows furrowed as I watch her body for cues that I’m going too far.
She nods woodenly. “It happened so many years ago, but I still can’t stop remembering that jarring feeling of being woken up by my dad to say we have to go to the hospital because Mom and Aaron were in a car accident. It’s like my body is constantly on edge, waiting for an emergency, which makes it impossible for me to fall sleep.”
My jaw tightens as a similar memory floods my mind. “After my dad died, I couldn’t stop counting the chest compressions I did on him every time I tried to go to sleep. One, two, three, four...”
Addison’s head snaps to meet my eyes, her face full of shock and horror.
