Page 47 of Honeymoon Phase
“I had a dog as a kid,” I croak, my voice quiet.
“What was its name?” Luke asks, adding more tortilla shreds to the bowl.
“Backpack.” I swallow down the tightness in my throat.
“Backpack.” Luke laughs and looks up at me. “How’d you come up with that?”
My cheeks flush with anxiety as I answer, “My little brother named him.”
Luke loses all humor on his face as he holds my gaze for a long, quiet moment. He knows my brother died in a car accident years ago, but that’s the extent of what he knows and honestly, it’s more than most people know. I told him about it one night because he asked, and there’s something about Luke that really makes me not want to hide from him.
I slide down off the couch and sit crisscross, reaching out to run my hand over Rufus’s tall tail. “Aaron had just started kindergarten, so he was pretty into backpacks I guess.”
Luke chuckles but that sympathy in his eyes is still there, holding me without touching me. “It’s a cool name for a dog.”
“Yeah...” I feel a pressure in my chest build as I say the next part. “He died in the car accident too.”
Silence grows between us, and I look up to make sure Luke heard me. He did. His eyes are intent on me as he lets me process the words I just shared.
“I’m sorry, Roe,” he says softly, abandoning his bowl and reaching out to lay his hand on top of mine.
“Me too.” I feel my eyes burn with incoming tears. “We buried my brother with Backpack’s collar.”
“I’m sure they found each other on the other side,” Luke says, his voice full of comfort.
I shoot him a watery smile. Luke always feels like comfort to me, which is unfair because he has the loss of his dad to work through as well. He doesn’t talk about his dad much either. Or maybe he does but just not to me. I wouldn’t blame him after the way I behaved during that time in his life.
I guess both of us have some death traumas we’re still unpacking in our own ways. Maybe we never will unpack them fully. Maybe death is just something you have to learn to carry with you all the time and you can never truly unload the sadness of it.
He eyes me with arched brows. “Fact or fiction. Aaron was a little stud.”
“Oh, that’s a fact,” I reply with a garbled laugh, grateful for the levity. I turn to face Luke, my hands gesticulating with pride because I never talk about my brother, and it feels good. “He would make me approve all his outfits before school every day and would take ages gelling his hair. He missed the bus so many times because he was in the bathroom primping.”
“Really?” Luke laughs and the crinkles in his eyes give me butterflies. “I’m sure your dad loved that.”
“It made him crazy. Said he couldn’t wait until I got my license so I could drive Aaron to school.” My voice drops at the end as I realize Aaron didn’t live long enough for that to happen.
God, life is such a fucking bitch.
Rufus bocks, ripping me out of my quiet turmoil. “Ugh, I feel like I’ve aged a decade this past week.” I groan and stretch my legs out and wiggle my toes. “So many big life changes. Marriage, moving, wedding planning.”
Luke watches me thoughtfully for a moment before replying, “And don’t forget about the lumberjack competition.”
“How could I forget that?” I smile and reach out to touch his chin. “Your chin is looking way better.”
He reaches up to trace the same area, our fingers brushing as I pull my hand away. “I hope I have a cool battle scar as a keepsake.”
“You certainly surprised the hell out of me that day.”
He laughs and shakes his head. “Just wait till you see me next year.”
“You’re going to do it again?”
“Fuck yeah I am,” Luke chirps, his eyes narrowing with determination. “I need to put that Ivan fucker in his place.”
I giggle and cover my face, not sure why I like the idea ofLuke being jealous of Ivan so much. It’s not a normal reaction a friend has with another friend, but it still feels good. I like knowing he cares.
Luke looks up at me, the crinkles around his eyes deepening as he smiles. “I know it’s only day one... but I like having you here.”
