Page 95 of Honeymoon Phase
“Yes!” he roars, tossing his hands out wide, the snowy scenic background at odds with his tortured stance. “I’m fucking terrified of losing you all the time.”
“But this is all fake,” I exclaim and the devastated look on his face cuts straight through me.
His head drops and he begins walking up the hill again, trying to get away from me.
“Luke,” I cry and run up to grab his arm.
He yanks it out of my hand. “Don’t touch me.”
“Why?”
“Because when you touch me, I can’t think straight.” His voice cracks as he stops in his tracks. “And it’s not fair.”
“What’s not fair?”
“It’s not fair that you get to touch me and hug me and kiss me in the bar and rock my whole fucking world and just continue living your life like—”
“Like what?”
“Like I mean nothing,” he cries, his voice distraught. “Like it’s just another day. Like I’m forgettable and meaningless and just a friend and that our marriage isn’t fucking real.”
My eyes swim with tears as I look up at him. There is so much to unpack in what he just said. He thinks he’s forgettable? Meaningless?He told me I’m his everything.But what sticks the most is what he said about our marriage. He’s angry our marriage isn’t real? My voice is raw when I ask the question I’m terrified of hearing the answer to. “Do you want our marriage to be real?”
His lips thin and his nostrils flare as he glowers down at me. “The fact that you even have to ask just proves how big of a fucking wall you still have up between us.”
Headlights suddenly illuminate the two of us and I spot Wyatt’s truck pulling up. He comes to a stop beside us, his window down, everyone inside the car staring at us.
But Luke won’t take his eyes off me. “Take Addison. I’ll walk,” he says softly and, without another word, he pushes past me, up the hill, and I stare at the back of him while Trista wraps her hands around me and ushers me into the back seat.
Squished into the vehicle, surrounded by Luke’s family, I burst into tears and thank God for the Fletchers because they all say absolutely nothing.
Chapter 30
Fact or Fiction?
You are my emergency contact.
Addison
It’s dusk when I finally return to Fletcher Mountain from my run in the cemetery. I don’t usually do a lot of running in the winter because the cold hurts my lungs, but after last night, I needed it more than I needed comfortable breathing.
However, even a jog and a visit with my brother did nothing to calm the anxiety still swirling in my belly. I haven’t spoken to Luke since he walked away from me on the side of the mountaintop last night. I saw him briefly in the hallway this morning but then he closed himself off in his room and I never heard from him the rest of the day.
I’m not even sure who is supposed to be mad at who anymore. I’m mad at him for not being honest with me. He’s mad at me for keeping him at a distance. I guess? But he doesn’t realize I built this wall of mine brick by brick and it’s not that easy for me to just knock it down, no matter how much I craved his arms last night.
I at least was open enough to send him a text to let him know I was going to Boulder for a run. I was rewarded with a curt thumbs-up emoji. Like I’m a roommate touching base, not the woman he poured his heart out to less than twenty-four hours ago.
I frown when I park in front of the cabin and notice Luke’s truck isn’t parked where it usually is. I check my phone and don’t see a text from him, so I can’t help but wonder where hewent. As I hop out of the vehicle, I glance down the hill and see Dakota pacing on her front porch.
“Everything okay?” I call out as I walk toward her.
She shakes her head, crossing her arms over her chest. “I just hate these calls.”
“What calls?” I ask as I reach the base of her steps.
“The fire department calls.” She shakes out her arms and runs her hands through her hair, her feet loud on the wooden deck. “They don’t come very often, but when they do, I can’t sit down until Calder comes back home. And this one sounded bad—a barn fire with these kinds of winds? My mind is a dark place right now.”
A lump forms in my throat, and I suddenly feel like I can’t breathe, but manage to choak out, “Luke?”
