Page 23 of The Backtrack
Swim under a waterfall
Hike Machu Picchu
Watch the ball drop in NYC
Gondola ride in Venice
Oktoberfest in Germany
See cherry blossoms in Japan
Rent a fancy bungalow in Bora Bora
Get to the top of the Eiffel Tower
Walk the Great Wall of China
Go on a safari
Explore Casablanca
Photos at the Hollywood sign in LA
There was a star sticker sheet taped to the inside so Sam could mark each item off as she accomplished them. Her fingers traced the lines of the bingo squares as she tried, and failed, to think of something to say.
“You’re speechless, I see. Is it because my drawing of the Eiffel Tower is borderline phallic?” Damon asked. “My artistic efforts were never as good as yours.”
Sam laughed, relieved he found a way to take any humiliation out of the situation. Because the truth was that this gift from Damon had meant so much to her then, and it still meant so much to her now. He was maybe the one person in her life who fully indulged her dreams of traveling, but she’d pushed him away.
Eventually, she met his gaze, and his dark hazel eyes surrounded by even darker lashes locked on to her. Damon carefully undid the star sticker sheet and handed it to Sam. “I think it’s time to fill out this bingo card.”
She took the stars and stared at them, so wishing she weren’t borderline hungover from the lack of sleep. Instead, she peeled off a sticker and placed it on top of theSee cherry blossoms in Japansquare. “That was one of the first places I took a proper vacation to, maybe seven years ago. The trees get filled with these gorgeous pink overflowing blooms, and the buds fall off and float down the Meguro River. I thought of you when I went there.” She had thought of Damon, but hadn’t reached out because, apparently, she was truly chicken at expressing her feelings.
“Good,” he said. She looked up, and a satisfied look passed across his face. Though, just as quickly as it had come, it vanished. And maybe she’d imagined the whole thing, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that Damonlikedthe fact that she’d been thinking of him.
She went through the rest of the bingo card and shared when she’d seen the bucket list item, along with fun anecdotes. Stepping in donkey shit as she hiked Machu Picchu was a particular hit in terms of making Damon laugh.
When the card had been filled, minus the Casablanca square, she refolded the card and placed it on top of the desk. “I obviously can’t get rid of that until I fill the whole thing out.”
“Not unless you want a life not lived.” Damon stretched out his legs, and his jeans brushed against the side of her knee.
She wanted to lay her head on his thick thigh and fall asleep—both because she was tired and because being near him reminded her that anything was possible, which was how he’d always made her feel. “I remember when you made this for me. It put all of my goals in one place, and I was so worried that I’d never get to check any of them off,” Sam said. “I didn’t want to prove my mom right.”
“Your mom was never right about you,” he quickly replied. “She never knew you.”
Butyou knew me, Sam wanted to say.
“Have you heard from her?” Damon gave a gentle look.
Her mom hadn’t reached out, not to Sam or Pearl. Sam leaned back and let her head rest against the side of the bed frame. “Bonnie’s really committed to never seeing me again, so...”
“Did you ever try to find her?”
Not many people in Sam’s current life knew the story about how her mom left. And when they got close to asking, Sam deflected. She readied herself to do the same now, but something cracked open, and the truth slipped out. “I did hire an investigator once. A few years into flying, when I had some extra money. I had this idea that I could find her and tell her I was a pilot, and she’d be proud. Maybe even want to talk. The woman I hired found her in Clearwater, Florida—this little town, bigger than Tybee, but kind of exactly the same. She was working the front desk of a hair salon and rented a one-bedroom place close to the beach. It was like she’d left here for something nearly identical. Just, you know, without me and Pearl.”
Sam’s voice cracked at the memory. “I’d occasionally call the front desk of the salon, just to hear her voice when she picked up the phone.”
She cleared her throat, and Damon’s hand found its way to her knee and gave her a squeeze. “She’s a shitty person. That’s not on you.”
