Page 56 of The Backtrack
“You have a girlfriend.” Sam removed her hand from his chest.
“I don’t,” he quickly said.
Sam blinked away the rain. “What are you talking about?”
“We were never serious. And she ended things.”
Sam felt guilty for a moment—was it because of the barbecue? Or the accidental kiss? She stepped away from him. “I’m sorry, Damon. Maybe you could try to get her back? Marissa is a catch—she’s a doctor and her hair looks like something out of a Disney movie.” Ironically, Sam was making the hard sell for the woman who wasn’t her.
“She’s not you,” he said. “I couldn’t... Ihaven’tstopped thinking about you since you left. And then you came back, and...”
He cut himself off. The rain was cool and Sam couldn’t help but lean toward the heat of Damon as his fingertips ran up her neck and into the back of her hair. He pulled and her face tilted up toward him. His eyes searched hers for some kind of sign that he could continue. And she really, really wanted him to.
She closed her eyes and was about to lift on her tiptoes to make her intentions clear, but then he spoke.
“Sam?”
Her eyes slowly opened. Judging by the look on his face, she wondered if he was having second thoughts. “Yes?” she tentatively asked.
“Why didn’t you kiss me?” he asked. “All those years ago, why didn’t you want to?”
23
Rain continued to drip into Sam’s eyes and she tried to blink an answer into existence. Why hadn’t she kissed Damon when he’d asked her?
She’d been scared. Terrified that kissing him would seal her fate and she’d be stuck in Tybee. She’d liked Damon then, of course she had, and she knew that if she acknowledged those feelings in any real way, she’d never leave him. And she needed to leave. She couldn’t stay, not even for him.
But maybe Sam had been wrong not to kiss him. Despite how she’d broken his heart once, here he was again, standing with her in the rain, and cradling her neck just so. Maybe this was the universe giving her a second chance. Maybe she’d seen the life she could’ve led so that when she had the opportunity, she wouldn’t fuck it up again. He had a question, and he deserved an answer.
“I wanted to kiss you,” she said. “I always wanted to kiss you.”
“But you didn’t.” His thumb stroked a line across her cheekbone. “Why?”
“I have thought about that moment over and over for years. You know, one of thosewhat ifquestions. It was complicated, because I cared about you too much back then. I was afraid that it wouldn’t just be a kiss. It would be forever.”
“You were scared of forever with me?” The rain was so heavy it created a kind of thundering white noise that Sam could barely hear her own thoughts over.
“I was scared of becoming my mom.” Her voice was louder now. “I’m so sorry, Damon. I just couldn’t be her. It wasn’t about you. It was never about you.”
“And what now?” Damon asked.
Sam swallowed. She lived in Paris. He lived in Tybee. Worlds away. But here he was, in front of her, and she knew this was her moment. “What I want is you.”
He waited a beat, maybe processing. And she was so still, wondering if she’d said too much, or not enough, but hoping that he believed her.
“I still want you,” he said.
And with his admission, she fisted her fingers through his hair, pulled him in and finally kissed Damon Rocha. Their lips crashed against each other, and then her tongue met his, and his hands pulled her in so close that they became one moving, breathing being together. Her hands trailed along his back, and he pulled her shirt up and off over her head. He moved her so she was pressed against the siding of the house, his body covering hers like he owned her.
He grabbed one of her legs, then the other, and she wrapped herself around him. She would never say no to kissing Damon again. She couldn’t. Not when she knew he tasted like the salty sea air. Not when he moaned into her mouth as she pulled his shirt up and over his head.
“I need you,” she said and pushed into him.
He winced in pleasure, or pain, she wasn’t sure, but said, “Your grandma is inside.”
“She’s asleep. We can be quiet.”
“Not with what I have planned for you.”
