Page 5 of The Backtrack
Instead of grabbing her bag, she picked up the CD player. The familiar weight immediately eased the tension Sam had been carrying in her shoulders. The urge to put her headphones on, lean against the wall and let herself slide down to the floor was overwhelming.
“Hello, friend.” She put a hand across the top and let it sit there, the way you might give a reassuring pat on someone’s back. Her thumb pressed down on the open button. And when the top flipped up, she saw the CD that Damon had made for her, covered in a detailed drawing of the moon and the wordsThirteen perfect songs to play when you need themwritten in black permanent marker at the bottom. She exhaled as she traced a finger across his slanted penmanship.
She had never actually played the CD, though. She came close a few times, but couldn’t bring herself to hear the tracks Damon had chosen just for her after she’d all but torn them in two. Instead, she upgraded to an iPod Nano, tucked the CD player away and pretended the thing didn’t exist.
She closed the player as the doorbell rang. She quickly glanced out her bedroom window and there, in the driveway, was a motorcycle.Who the hell did Grandma Pearl hang out with these days?Sam strained to catch a glimpse of the person at the door, which was when she saw the swoop of dark hair—Damon’s dark hair.
Ding-dong.Sam jumped away from the window. “Okay, I can take a hint,” she said to no one.
Sam didn’t have time to change or freshen up. She’d intendednottolook like hot garbage when she saw Damon, but apparently, her trip down memory lane had other plans. She stopped at the mirror next to her door and did her best to pat down the frizz around her hair. Then, understanding it was a fruitless endeavor, pulled it all up into a high and tight ponytail. When she reevaluated herself in the mirror, there was a bit of improvement. She picked up the CD player, unsure of what to do with it and not wanting to relegate it to the forgotten shelves under her desk again.
The doorbell sounded once more, and she sighed.
As she left her room and made her way down the hall, reality set in. She was about to seeDamon. He was just a few feet from her. A surprise flurry of nerves swelled in the pit of her stomach, a kind of apprehension that made her dizzy. Just like when they were in high school, and she’d eagerly wait to see him in the cafeteria, or in the parking lot after school. Because being with him was almost always the best part of her day.
When she got to the door, she looked up at the popcorn ceiling and let out a shaky breath.This won’t be weird. This is Damon. A guy you’ve known your whole life, Sam told herself.
There was no more stalling. It was time for her to face the man she’d left behind. One quick breath in, then out, and she opened the door.
Her stomach flipped, like a fish jumping out of water. Because whilethisDamon was the same one she’d grown up with, he’d also changed in many ways. His hair, for example, no longer had bright red streaks, but was its natural chestnut hue and fell in a messy way that almost made it look styled. His nose, which she’d never really took note of before, was distinguished and weirdly sexy. Then there was the well-groomed beard, and his tan and toned arms that filled out a forest green tee. All she knew was that he definitely looked better than she remembered. She stopped at the wordsBand Practice Brewsand realized he must’ve come straight from work, just like her.
Sam didn’t say a word, and neither did Damon, but his Adam’s apple bobbed as he seemed to swallow the sight of her. Damon cleared his throat and looked at his shoes. When he looked back up, his eyes revealed the same vulnerable expression she’d remembered them having.
Damon moved to close the gap between them and wrapped Sam in a tight hug. His beard brushed against her cheek. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, along with the coconut scent of him.
“It’s awesome to see you,” he said into her ear.
His voice was strong and sure, so different from the teen version of Damon she’d remembered. When she exhaled, she managed to say, “You, too.”
And it reallywas. She pulled away, but he kept his hands steady on her shoulders. He squeezed her slightly and licked his lips.
“I can’t believe you’re standing here, Sam-Sam,” he said.Sam-Sam, just as he used to call her. “You look...different.”
Is “different” a good thing?Sure, she’d lost the dark makeup and traded in her fishnet tights for something more professional. But weren’t those changes an improvement?
“You’re wearing a lot less eyeliner,” she said. She was crummy at small talk. She was about to say as much, but then he clocked the CD player still in her hands.
“Oh, wow, I haven’t seen one of those since...” He trailed off, and she wondered if he was remembering the night he tried to kiss her, too. “Well, it’s been a long time.”
She held the thing up, trying to forget the hurt in his eyes. “I know, right? One of the perks of being home.”
“Can I see?” he asked.
The CD he’d made her was still in there. She knew that and, yet, she held the player out for him. As his hand touched the sides, a small electric jolt traveled through her fingers. “Ow,” she gasped. She let go of the player, which Damon managed to catch. She brought her shocked finger to her mouth and nursed her tiny wound. “Geez, did you feel that?”
“Yeah.” He shook out his hand but refocused on the CD player. “So weird.” He turned the player over, then flipped it back and hit the open button on the top. The CD he’d made for her shone up at them. All she knew was that time stopped as Damon stared down at his old drawings. Sam watched him, waiting to see what he’d do.
He looked up at her, and the same jolt of electricity she felt from the player traveled through her again. She shivered. So did he. Then he swallowed, looked back down at the CD and closed the top. When he did, the screen lit up.
Sam stilled, because now that she squinted the screen had absolutely turned on. She was fully aware she might be in for another electric shock but couldn’tnottake a closer look.
She grabbed the Walkman from Damon. “Woah,” she said as she flipped the player over in her palms. The screen displayed that the first track on the CD was queued up and ready.
She almost asked Damon if batteries even lasted this long, but something about his expression stopped her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. She’d seen that look on him before, but only once, when she hadn’t kissed him back. And now here he was, standing outside her old house and making her feel like she was in high school again.
“I should’ve started with this, but I got distracted. My dad called me from the hospital.” Humberto Rocha, Damon’s dad, was a registered nurse at the Tybee Island Emergency Room. Sam immediately knew Damon had bad news. “I wanted to tell you in person. He said Grandma Pearl had an accident.”
