Page 42 of Not You Again
“Did you not get in or something?” She found that hard to believe, considering Adam prided himself on being better than everyone else.
“No. I mean, I didn’t even apply. My dad talked me out of it.” Adam avoided meeting Carly’s gaze and studied the spine of a book.
She was confused, though. “Talked you out of it? Isn’t it, like, one of the best schools in the world?” Caltech was a thirty-minute drive from her place in Burbank, and a school she’d never considered because it was specifically for geniuses.
“It’s the hardest school to get into in America,” Adam confirmed.
“And your dad didn’t want you to apply?” She simply wasn’t following.
Adam sighed. “It’s complicated. It’s not that he didn’t wantme to apply, but he asked a lot of questions. Like, what would I do in astronomy? And how competitive was the school? And how many jobs are there for people who study the stars?”
Carly inwardly cringed; she hadn’t considered that she might be stepping on an emotional land mine.
“And then there was the family business, of course.” Adam cracked his neck, as if just discussing this had built up tension in his body. “If I wanted to take over the funeral home, I needed a specific degree. The business was solvent, lucrative and would allow me to have an easy go of it, job-wise. And with me dating Shireen, she didn’t want to leave Julian. I guess I just thought the easier route would be to stay here, too.”
Easier wasn’t always a bad thing. Lots of great things could come when something felt easy. Like for Carly, it was easier to sit down and write a scene of a script than do anything else. But she got the sense from Adam’s resigned tone that while he’d chosen the path he was on, he’d questioned whether it was the right one.
“What about you?” she asked. “What do you want?”
His gaze briefly met hers, before he looked away and pretended to study the books. “Whatever’s best for everyone.”
“So altruistic,” she said. She watched him out of the corner of her eye. His jaw twitched, but there was otherwise no tell of how he genuinely felt. Carly knew he was quite good at hiding things, though, so she decided to poke. “Right before the loop began, I got the biggest break of my career. There’s this screenwriter who is a total legend, and I adore her writing. Marilyn Montgomery?”
Adam shrugged in response.
“She read a script I wrote and apparently thinks there’spromiseto it. I got the email from her on April twenty-third. ThefirstApril twenty-third.” Carly felt the ghost of a smile on her lips as she remembered the email.
“So when we get out of this loop, you’re going to get your big break. That’s amazing.” He gave her a look like he was happy for her.
“It is amazing,” Carly acknowledged. “There’s this myth that if you just pursue your dreams, they’ll come true. I’ve been pursuing this one for over a decade. I work as a bartender full-time and write on the side. Maybe you can do what’s best for everyone while still doing what’s best for you.”
“That’s true,” Adam said while focusing on the floor.
Carly sensed Adam wanted to move on, so she tried to change the subject. “Thorne, you said?”
“Kip Thorne, yeah.”
She scanned a shelf, bent down and followed the letters until the last names began with T. She eventually saw the last name Thorne, and the book title,Black Holes & Time Warpsstared back at her. “This is what we might call a bull’s-eye,” she said as she held the book out for Adam’s inspection.
“Nice.” His elbows skimmed the side of her as he bent down to the shelf. She was aware of his breathing, and the smell of him, and then her breathing became shallow.
He picked out a different Thorne book. “Let’s get to reading,” he said and found a desk with a hard seat and an overhead lamp.
Carly, however, didn’t feel like a rod was in her spine, so she gravitated toward an indoor bench with a long cushion and pillows flanked by windows. The benefit of this spot, too, was that it was removed from Adam and the bizarre reaction her body was having to him. She stretched her legs out, tucked a pillow behind her and leaned back against the wall.
Maybe it would be good for her to have a basic understanding of physics so that when Adam spoke, she didn’t morph into a blinking goldfish. She cracked open the book and began to read. At one point, she realized that she’d have to grab paperand jot down notes if she wanted to be able to retain anything. After a few hours, Adam brought her a to-go box of apple pie and a turkey sandwich. She ate and she wrote.
Things can be trapped forever.
Inside a loop, cause and effect may be hard to untangle.
Black holes, neutron stars, gravitational waves, time warps and time machines.
Carly put the book down, took off her glasses and wiped the lenses with the cloth she kept in her pocket. She’d been making good on her agreement to sit with her thoughts. But she wasn’t sure what to think of her notes.
She sighed. Maybe she wasn’t smart enough to solve this puzzle. Adam was bent over his book, and a heavy worry line creased his forehead. He seemed to think Carly would have all the answers, but she certainly didn’t feel any closer to the truth of what was going on.
Adam was the one who understood the world around them in a way she never could. Scientific theories weren’t the thing that fueled her, though Adam obviously lived for them. It was hard to imagine Sheila and Bill seeing that enthusiasm and not encouraging it. Her dad would’ve helped her apply to Caltech, if that was what she’d wanted. How had Adam’s parents not provided the same support?
