Page 60 of Not You Again
Carly took Adam’s hand, and his fingers instinctively flexed against hers. “I know I don’t have to, but this is important. I’m worried about her, too,” she said.
“Okay.” Adam swallowed down his fear and unease and tried to harness some fortitude. “I know where to find him.”
Since the affair and the start of the loop, Adam had driven by Dean’s fifties bungalow rental a handful of times. Sometimes he wanted to see if Shireen’s car was parked there. Othertimes, he drove by with the intent of stopping and angrily confronting his former best friend. This time, though, he actually got out and stood in front of the stucco building. Adam walked across the mosaic tiles that led a path through the garden and up to Dean’s front door. Shireen had always loved those tiles. So when Adam knocked, he sincerely hoped that affinity had somehow transported her to Dean’s place.
It was only Dean who answered, though, in a white T-shirt with the sleeves rolled up and high-waisted trousers, a young Marlon Brando-esque look he’d perfected over the past few years. Adam’s jaw clenched as Dean’s smile instantly faded. The only great part of seeing Dean was also seeing his mullet—the one he’d insisted was cool and was now stuck with, thanks to the time loop. It was a pure delight to know he might have to spend eternity with that thing. Well, potentiallynoteternity.
“Oh, hey.” Dean sucked in his top lip, maybe wisely stopping himself from saying anything further.
Hey?That was all Dean had to say to Adam, justhey? Not something more along the lines ofWow, it was deeply uncool of me to sleep with your wife and destroy over two decades of friendship. Sorry about that, man.
No, this was Dean, and of course the only thing he wanted to tell Adam washey.
Adam didn’t answer.He hadn’t spoken to his former friend since the loop began. He fought the warring words in his head—simultaneously telling him to flee while also urging him to throw a verbal punch. He didn’t plan to insult Dean, though. Because for the first time in a long time, Adam was in a much better spot than Dean.
“Is Shireen here?” Adam asked.
Dean frowned. “No, she hasn’t shown up yet.”
He looked past Adam, as if searching for her, with an expression that could only result from genuine concern.
“She didn’t reset with us this morning,” Adam said gently.
Dean shifted his weight as he considered that. “What do you mean?”
Which is when Carly decided to come forward. “Hey, I’m Carly. I reset with Shireen and Adam every loop in the funeral home. I can confirm that this loop, Shireen wasn’t there.”
“Where the hell is she?” The edginess in Dean’s voice was jarring.
For the first few weeks after the loop started, Adam had worried daily about whether or not Shireen was okay. Without the help of cell phones, he had no way of reaching her once she left the funeral home. She was ostensibly with Dean, he’d supposed, but they’d never spent twenty-four hours apart before; they’d always managed to see each other within a day. And the look Dean had was the same one Adam had so often seen on himself, at least initially.
“We don’t know.” Adam was suddenly hot, either from the midday sun or Dean’s glare. “We walked through town, but no one seemed to be exhibiting signs that anything was different. There could be others, but we’ll have to wait and see.”
“Wait and see?” Dean reached for keys on a coffee table near the entrance. “I’m not going to just wait for Shireen to come back. I have to find her.” Dean breezed past Adam and Carly to the cherry-red convertible covered by a tarp in the driveway.
Adam followed and helped him take off the tarp. He had at least a dozen memories of the two of them stalled on the side of some road, popping the trunk and the hood to try to troubleshoot whatever was going wrong with this ancient beast of a car that Dean loved. The car went with the whole lifestyle he was going for, though, and Dean had always been big on how his life looked to everyone else.
“I would do the same thing,” Adam said as Dean got into the car. “We’ll keep looking for her, too.”
Dean attempted to turn the engine, which had always been a bit temperamental. “I know you came to the tasting room the other loop. Shireen told me.”
Adam straightened. “I’m glad. Secrets aren’t great in a relationship. I would know.”
Dean looked away from him then, as if unable to accept thathehad been the secret. Dean kept his eyes on the steering wheel as he said, “I’m sorry you found out the way you did.”
Adam waited for more. Would there be groveling? A promise to give Adam his mullet trimmings if he forgave him? But no, Dean wasn’t like Adam in the sense that he, apparently, didn’t feel the need to explain himself. Adam had thankfully moved past the point of wanting anything substantial from Dean, and what a lovely shift that was.
“I just wanted to say that I know Shireen will return.” Adam had hope—maybe Carly was rubbing off on him. “We’re going to find her.”
“How do you know that?” Dean looked up, his eyes red rimmed, as if holding something back. Whether it was for their friendship, or Shireen, or both, it wasn’t really any of Adam’s business.
“It’s a feeling,” Adam said. Wow, now he was even starting to sound like Carly.A feeling?He didn’t work on feelings, but he also couldn’t deny that he did have a feeling about this situation, and the fact that Shireen wasn’t gone.
Dean’s grip on the wheel tightened. “I hope you’re right,” he said.
Adam waited a beat. He’d broken the long silence between them. He’d been the bigger person and had a conversation with Dean, releasing the friendship ghost that had hovered over his head for months. And seeing Dean like this, so lacking in remorse, confirmed what his mom and dad had said: Dean wasn’t his friend.
Adam took a big breath in and said words that he very much meant. “Bye, Dean.”
