Page 70 of Deja New
“Ah, but as I remind my clients, my job isn’t to make them feel better. It’s to help them see. What I’m trying to explain is, it doesn’t have to define you. It doesn’t have to be a career. You don’t have to end up—”Like me.“For most people, like your sister, it’s just something they have a knack for. Like being great with numbers—the fourteen-year-old kid taking college trig, for example. Or like knowing what spices go together with what food even if you’ve never cooked. It helps—or hinders—exactly as much as you want it to. What if that same math whiz decides on medical school? It doesn’t mean they’re not a math genius, they’re just putting their focus elsewhere.”
She cleared her throat. “Wow, I’m talking a lot.”
“Uh-huh. But, Leah, the thing is—” In his anxiety, Jack grabbed Leah’s hand, squeezing for emphasis. “That’s why Angela’s always been so obsessed with Dad’s case.”
Unspoken:And I don’t want to be like that.
“Is that what you think? That it’s about her gift, and not her personality?”Is that what you all think? That explains quite a bit, come to think of it.She shook her head. “No, Jack. Your sister’s obsessed—and I don’t think she’s clinically obsessed, by the way. We throw that word aroundfartoo often, so many people use ‘obsessed’ when what they really mean is ‘focused’ or—”
“Argh.”
“Sorry. Your father’s murder is a constant, strong issue for her because that’s her nature, and it’s nothing to do with Insight. Her attention to detail, her reliance on being in control—”
She was delighted when he snickered; it was an improvement over tearful despair. “Soooo tactful.”
“Yes, well, I’ve got skills. Angela’s personality traits have little to do with the ability. The way she looks after all of you—do you think that’s because she knows Jordan died of gangrene after biting his tongue?”*
“What?”
“No, it’s because something in her compels her to take care of all of you. Your sister isn’t driven to spend years researching a murder because she can see other lives. She’s driven to research it because she knows something’s wrong and she wants to fix it.”
“Okay. That’s—okay.” He sighed. “Can we stop talking about this for now? I’m not trying to be mean. It’s just, there’s a lot to think about.”
“Of course.”
“I don’t feel... better, exactly? Just less bad, and I don’t think that’s the same thing. But I’ll take it. To be honest, I’m so tired I feel like you wrapped a brick in cotton and whacked me in the forehead with it.”
“That’s what I’m here for.”
He started to get up from the table, then paused. “Don’t tell anybody, okay?”
“Of course.”
“And thanks. For talking to me.”
“Of course.”
“You want some more juice?”
“No, I thought I’d go back to bed and try to sleep.”
“Me, too.” He headed for the doorway, then paused and turned. “Y’know, you’re really screwed up,” he said cheerfully. “Your family’s worse than mine, which I sort of thought was impossible. But think about it!”
“I have.”
“Your mom killed you a lot—”
“I remember.”
“—and was a serial killer—”
“Yes, I’m aware.”
“—and you’re pregnant with a Drake baby—”
“For Christ’s sake. I get it.”
“—and you have to go back to prison again.”
“All true. Not sure what your point is.”
“There’s just so much madness wrapped up in all that. It’s kind of glorious, you know?”
That made her laugh. Hard. And why not? The kid had a point. He’d also reminded her that helping clients see themselves gave her perspective into her own brand of insanity. She still didn’t know what to do about The Return of Nellie Nazir, but it was a problem she didn’t have to solve on her own, and remembering that was always valuable.
