Page 91 of Deja New
FORTY-THREE
“Archer.”
“Nnnnnn.”
“Archer.”
“Pigeon ate my burger.”
“Archer!” This last was hissed right into his ear, which was a tactical error as Archer mistook her for a bug and swiped at her hard enough to make her ears throb.
“Friggin’ mosquitos... nuh?” He rubbed his eyes hard enough to make her own water with sympathy. “Cuz, whassup?”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, already regretting the insane impulse that led her here. Fortunately, Leah was still deeply asleep. Loudly, deeply asleep.My God. She sounds like a blender wrapped in a towel trying to blend a brick.
“F’r what? Y’okay?” He was trying to prop himself up on his elbows, staring at her in the low light from the partially open bedroom doorway.
“I’m fine.” Lie. “I’m just really sorry for all those times I was mean to you and said being mind-blind was like being developmentally disabled and that not remembering your past lives was like flunking a standard IQ test.”
He gawped at her and rubbed his eyes again.
She rushed on. “I know we talked all that out before you brought Leah to visit, but I’m not just apologizing for that. I’m apologizing for waiting so long to apologize.”
“If this isn’t some bizarre dream I’m going to fart on your face.”
By now she was kneeling beside the bed. “It’s because of Leah that I was so mean. Wait, I said that wrong—it wasn’t Leah’s fault I was so horrible. I was horrible because I felt inadequate beside her and took it out on you.”
“I will fart. On your face.”
“Does that make sense? How it’s about Leah but not really?”
“Hellnoit doesn’t make sense.”
“Listen, this all goes back to our childhood and I know that’s a cliché and maybe not worth waking you up for—”
“You might be onto something.”
“But I have to explain why I was such a miserable, hateful bitch before— Wait a sec, was there a pastry swan on that plate?” She hadn’t noticed the telltale empty dessert plate on the nightstand before, but now her eyes had adjusted well enough to see the crumbs.
“Yeah, there was, and it was delicious, and you can have the crumbsafteryou go away and let me go back to sleep.” He fussed with the blankets and glared at her. Beside him, Leah murmured something, then went back to gargling gravel or whatever the hell she was doing, my God, how did he ever get a wink of sleep?
“Jack made that for her?”How does she rate?she thought but didn’t say. Nothing against Leah, but the swans were special.
“I think your little brother is in love with my fiancée, which I assumed would be the most unsettling thought I’d have tonight.”
“I’m almost done. Please be patient with me just a bit longer.” She shook his shoulder a little for emphasis. “You know I’m a fan of hers. Lots of people are, the woman has groupies, for God’s sake.”
Archer nodded in the semidarkness. “You should see some of the stuff they send her. She has a fluoroscope at work.”
“That’s... sad, actually, but it doesn’t surprise me. And when I found out I was an Insighter, I just knew I was going to be able to fix everything for everybody. That’s what I told myself. So I pushed it and practiced my gift on everyone who would stand still and some people who wouldn’t. But I could never see your lives. And I just couldn’t face up to that. So I figured the problem had to be you.”
“Angela.” He fumbled for her hand and patted it, yawning. “There’s no need for this. I don’t know why you’re doing this to yourself at...” He looked at the clock and his grip tightened.“Two-thirty in the morning?”
“Shhhhh!”
“You shhhh! And Leah doesn’t sleep, she hibernates. Jesus Christ. Now? You need to do this now?”
“Need” was exactly the right word. Because this was about making amends, sure, but it was also about learning to live with the fallout from all her mistakes.Even when I apologize, I’m selfish.Was that funny? Sad? All of the above?
