Page 37 of Truth, Lies, and Second Dates
“Ya know whatelseis intensely irritating?”
“You did sort of loom up out of nowhere,” Ava pointed out. “I didn’t even hear you walk over.”
“It’s my footwear.” Tom smiled down at his feet. “These particular soles muffle my footsteps.”
“Oh. That’s great, I guess. If gliding noiselessly through the morgue is the goal.”
“It’s like working for a cat,” Darla declared. “A clumsy one.” Ava made a great effort and didnotsnicker. “No offense, boss.”
“None taken. Ava, you wished to see me?”
“Yeah, if you’re not busy. Or at least not too busy. I thought of something that might be useful.”
He tilted his head and studied her. She must have been downwind (did you still call it “downwind” when there was no discernible wind?), because she realized all over again how good he smelled, like soap and clean skin. And how the hell did he manage that, given his day job?
Darla must have been wondering the same, because she tilted her head to one side and asked, “You napped in one of the drawers again, didn’t you, Doc?”
“Abe maintains he can effectively cool our home by simply closing all the curtains. This is false. The air-conditioning unit arrives the day after tomorrow.”
Slept… in one of the drawers. Slept in one of the drawers? THE DRAWERS? Oh my God, he’s so weird and cool. Literally.
“How… how does that work?” Did he keep pajamas at work, too? And a toothbrush? Did he set an alarm? Had someone ever mistaken him for a dead body? So many questions.
He blinked. “I get sleepy. I lie down. I rest. I rise.”
It’s aliiiiiiiiive!“Yep, sounds about right,” Ava lied, because it sounded deeply screwed.
“I’d say it isn’t as weird as it sounds,” Darla said, “but that would be a big fat fib.”
“Ava, you have information you think might be useful?”
“Huh? Oh. Sorry. Distracted by the reveal of your nap habits. But yeah, I had some thoughts.”
“I’d like to hear them.”
“Oh. Yes. Well…”Do I just blurt out my dream right here in front of Darla? See if I can damage her positive outlook? Although if her boss snoozing with the cadavers didn’t damage it, what the hell would? An audit? Plague?“Did you want to grab a bite? And talk it over?”
“Oooooh!” From Darla. “A mealanda meeting. Together! So efficient! She’s got your number, boss.”
“Literally,” Ava added, holding up her phone. She’d already put Doc Baker in her contacts. “Darla, did you call him Doc Baker? That’s awesome.”
“Right? My grandma’s a hugeLittle House on the Prairiefan.”
“Which makes no sense,” Tom pointed out. “Dr. Baker worked on the living.” Before Ava could ask: “Darla has regaled me at length about the fictional characters—”
“Hey! Some of them were real people, ya know!”
“—of Walnut Grove, Minnesota.”
“I’m sure Doc Baker did all kinds of things, including pathology. Walnut Grove wasn’t exactly a thriving metropolis.”
“Yes, that’s true.”
Oh my God, now we’re talking about shows that have been off the air for forty years and then I’m taking him out for a meal and to figuratively show him my dream journal and a normal person would find this incredibly weird and off-putting so just WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME that I think it’s intriguing?
“Tell ya what,” Darla said. “You seem like a nice lady and the boss here has done me a few favors—”
“Nothing out of the ordinary,” Tom interrupted. “I don’t understand why you’re assigning more weight to this than it’s worth.”
