Page 54 of Truth, Lies, and Second Dates
“Is this the part where we pretend to believe you haveanytrouble getting laid, you flaming man-slut?”
“Hey, I’m good, but that was a major drawback even for me.” Ignoring Becka’s grimace and India’s fake throwing-up noises, he added, “But I gotta give you guys credit. If the pilots hadn’t gotten on board—”
“I see what you did there.”
“—it would have been a lot harder to get management’s attention.”
Ava waved that away. “If you guys have a problem—with the uniforms, a company policy, what have you, then I have a problem. I have ahugeproblem.” As the giggles started, she added, “That came out wrong. I meant to say I’ll back you.”
“Youdohave huge problems and youdidback us, so no complaints on my—shit.”
As G.B. bent to retrieve the sugar packets he’d accidentally spilled, Ava saw the bulge in his trouser pocket, grabbed her clipboard, and whacked him in the hip.
“Ow!” G.B. straightened and managed to simultaneously glareandlook guilty.
“What have I said about bringing Tasers on board?”
“… not to?”
“Not to,” she replied firmly. “With your luck, it’ll fail at a critical moment or you’ll tase the wrong person. And who’s going to mess with someone your size?”
“That’s right,” India put in.
“If anything, a mugger will go for someone small and slender and unassuming, like India here.”
“Hey! Makes sense, though.”
“But it also charges my phone,” he whined, clutching his pocket and backing away.
“Okay, that’s definitely not true—”
“Dammit.”
“—but imagine if it could? Why hasn’t someone invented this?No.Don’t distract me. Check it in your luggage—”
Now he was backing away while looking deeply affronted, like she’d spit in his coffee. “Like agoose? Never!”
“—with your ice axe and pepper spray.”
From Becka: “Whoa.”
“Hey, I used to be a Boy Scout. Be Prepared.”
“Wow. I could actually hear the capital letters when you did that. G.B., let’s play a game where we pretend I’m your captain and just gave you an order and you have to comply: check that thing already.”
“Dammit.”
Ava looked around at the small group. “So now that we’ve gotten my eventful weekend out of the way and are happy with the uniforms and G.B. won’t accidentally electrocute one of us—”
“That was one time!”
“—let’s get to it. Where—”
“—are we flying today?” they chorused.
“You all suck. I don’t say thateverytime.”
But she was awfully glad to be back regardless. And she hadn’t thought about Tom Baker in the last hour.
