Page 33 of Road Queens
Sidney: That whole you break it you buy it thing is overrated
Amanda: Tough nuts.
Sidney: Wait, what’d you do to make sure he comes back? Tell me you didn’t fix the brakes on a cop car. You wanna room with Iris?
Amanda: He’s not a cop. And I’d never be so drastic. I leave that to you.
Sidney: We’re fucked. This is fucked. Everything’s fucked.
Amanda: That’s the spirit.
Sidney: Wait, what do y mean he’s no a fucking cop now???????
Amanda: We’ll get into it once you’ve calmed down. I gotta go—we’ll catch up later.
Sidney: Why did you bury the fucking lede???? WHY DIDN’T YOU LEAD WITH THAT????
Sidney: Amanda???????
Sidney: Amanda???????
Sidney: fuck me ‘til I cry.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
When he knocked, Amanda didn’t even pretend tonotbe lying in wait. Instead, she hurried down, let him in through the store entrance, then led him up the back stairs to her apartment.
“There!” she burst out when they were in her living room. “That’s enough of the silent treatment.”
He laughed, the jackass. “I thought the silent treatment would last longer than thirty seconds.”
“Don’t mansplain the silent treatment, you ridiculous fraud of a stooge. What have you got to say for yourself?”
He spread his hands
(Guy’s got the long strong fingers of a professional violinist, oofta.)
and shrugged. “Er ... that I haven’t done anything wrong?”
“This is a bad beginning,” she warned.
He smiled at her, which was kind of devastating. He couldn’t be missing his front teeth or have trench mouth like a normal villain, oh, nooooo. He had to have a big perfect HMO grin. Like, Cheshire Cat perfect. It wasn’t weird that she had a smidge of a crush on the Cheshire Cat when she was a kid, right? Right. Who wouldn’t be into a chatty catty who disappeared yet left their smile behind?
“This isn’t a beginning. Though I’m glad to be here; I wasn’t sure you’d let me back into your store, never mind your home.”
“No,younever mind my home.” Then she contradicted herself: “This is the living room, kitchen’s over there, bedroom’s in the back.”Why the hell did I tell him where my bed is?“And the toilet! Also in back.”
“Thank you, I’ll keep that in mind if I need to pee or nap.”
“Grown men shouldn’t say ‘pee.’”
He ignored her demoralizing observation and strolled around the room. “Not a lot of books. Odd for someone who owns a bookstore.”
“Where do you think Ikeepmy books, faux detective Beane? I’m not going to reinvent the wheel up here.”
“Snark is the new sexy.”
“What?”
