Page 112 of Morning Glory Girl
“Okay, well, let me pay for other expenses you have. So you can take your time and keep writing. That’s a totally normal thing for a boyfriend to do… I’m your boyfriend, right?” The question was earnest.
I smiled. We’d said I love you but had skipped the boyfriend/girlfriend conversation. “Yes. I mean, that’s what I want. That’s how I feel.”
“Okay, good. So that’s established.” His dark brows were still furrowed.
“But I don’t want you to pay for my expenses. I have all this education and work experience. I can’t just…notcontribute.”
He looked at me for a long time, like he didn’t know what to say. He sat all the way up, turned to face me, and took my hand, a tortured look on his face.He’s upset.It hit me like a blow to the chest. I didn’t think a simple interview would spiral like this.
“But Val. I’ve watched you work through this the entire summer. I’ve seen the change in you. You’re happy. I can tell. Why would you go back to something that made you miserable?”
I swallowed, emotion caught in my throat. Hurt because hewas upset. Worry that he was right—that even entertaining returning to a law firm was a mistake. And perhaps most powerfully, the deafening self-doubt and insecurity I felt deep down, drowning everything else out. I closed my eyes and told him the truth. “Because I worked my entire life for this. And when people look at me—the education and experience I have—and find out I’m an unemployed, aspiring author, they look down on me.”
“Who? What people?” Indignation laced his tone with acid.
“I don’t know, everyone!”
Me.
I flung the sheet off my lap and got out of bed, needing to pace. I loved how he saw me to my core, understood me in a way that was sort of remarkable given how long we’d known each other, sometimes even better than I understood myself. But right now, as his concerned gaze bore into me, I was overcome with the feeling that he saw too much.
“They don’t matter,” he said. “They don’t know you. And they don’t know the key to life either, despite what they might think. No one does.”
I stopped and looked at Luke. His chest was heaving, his legs tangled in the sheets, barely awake but fuming. “It’s just an interview,” I said quietly. To him, to myself. He climbed out of bed and stood in front of me—him in his boxers, me in my silky PJ set. He pushed my hair behind my ears and lifted my chin to look at him.
The look of hurt on his face cracked my heart wide open. I lowered my gaze.
“Is it too much? Are we moving too fast?” he asked.
“No! This has nothing to do with us. This is about me. I promise.” I gripped the wrist of the hand that was still holding my cheek and turned my face to kiss his palm. “I just… I don’t know how to let go of my entire career. It was my whole world before this summer.”
“Can I ask you something?”
I nodded cautiously.
“What would you want Luna to do? Twenty-plus years from now, if she was in the exact same position?”
I’d tell her to stay here and be happy.The answer came from my gut. My soul.
“You’re not fighting fair,” I whispered, eyes filling.
“When it comes to you two, my girls, I willneverfight fair.”
I choked on a sob, and he pulled me into his strong, warm arms. He kissed my hair. “Hey, no crying. You’re right. It’s just an interview. See how it goes, see how you feel, and we’ll talk about it, okay?” His fingers stroked my hair, holding me tight until I got my emotions under control.
“When is it?” he asked when I lifted my head off his chest.
“Tuesday.”
He nodded, somber. His eyes were glassy. My strong man. I hated myself for making him cry. At the same time, I didn’t fully understand it. It was just an interview. I probably wouldn’t even take the job. But I felt compelled to add, “Boston isn’t that far. It’s easy to get back and forth.”
“That’s true,” he said, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. His lips pressed to my forehead. “I’m going to take a shower.”
I nodded, words eluding me.
He didn’t fully close the bathroom door, and the intimacy of it struck me.
I sat on the corner of his bed, head in my hands.It’s just an interview, I repeated to myself.Why did it feel like more than that all of a sudden?
