Page 63 of Morning Glory Girl
“I’m maternal! I’ve always said I wanted to have kids someday.”
“I know, but that was conceptual; this is real practice.”
“Well, I do love her. She’s the best. And I’m totally turning her into a theater kid.” I said it with pride.
Natalie shook her head lovingly. “Her poor dad.”
“He’s on board…I think.” My cheeks tugged up reflexively thinking about Luke.
“I think you’re in love with her dad, too,” Natalie commented.
“I am not! I’m seeing Max, remember?”
“Yeah, yeah. Finance bro. You don’t light up when you talk about him the way you do when you talk about Luke.”
I scoffed. I loved that my best friend read me so well, but sometimes it was very inconvenient.
“Hasn’t there been tension? Deep conversations? A little flirting?” she asked.
“Yes. I mean, I think so. But he hasn’t given me any reason to think he’d ever act on it.” By now I’d convinced myself his pause in the doorway to the guest room couldn’t have been as loaded as I thought. “He knows I’m seeing someone. And he’s…my employer. Wouldn’t that be inappropriate?”
“Eh, I don’t think so. I’m sure he wouldn’t take it lightly, given the situation, but if there are real feelings there?—”
“There aren’t. We’re just friends. And you’re right, he wouldn’t want to jeopardize the good relationship I’ve built with Luna and the working relationship I have with him. And I have a boyfriend, so, yeah, no ‘real feelings’ are happening.” I added air quotes for emphasis.
“It sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself as much as me.” Natalie lifted her perfectly shaped brown eyebrows at me on the screen.
“That’s not true!”
“You doth protest too much, babe.”
“IlikeMax, and you’ll like him, too. You guys can meet when you visit in a week and a half. He is so romantic. I’ve never been showered in praise and compliments like this before. It’s so nice for a change. The other day on the beach he said, ‘My life was just going along, linear, boring, and then suddenly, you were there, like a shooting star landed right in front of me.’ He, like, inherited his dad’s way with words. Isn’t that so sweet?”
She poured another splash of white wine into her tall, stemmed glass and walked over to her dark blue, velvet couch while I spoke.
“It is…” she drawled, like she hadn’t made up her mind yet. She took a sip of her wine and then stared at something off-screen.
“You hesitated,” I accused.
“It just sounds familiar, like it’s out of a movie or something.” Her eyes squinted.
“That’s my whole point! It’s romantic.”
“I’m happy if you’re happy.” She shot me a smile. “In other news, your return-to-work date is around the corner, right? Have you decided what you’re going to do?”
I inhaled, inflating my chest, and then blew the breath back out. “Yes. I’m going to quit. For real.”
“That’s great! Why don’t you sound more excited about it?”
“I know I don’t want to go back, and that I want to keep writing. I guess I still feel like a failure. I’msonervous to tell the partners and my other coworkers. And it makes me feel like the last ten years of hard work were a waste.”
Natalie nodded, chewing on her lip. “If you end up regretting the decision, you could go back to another firm later. Or an in-house job. A resume gap is not a big deal these days. Look at Tyler—he already has an in-house job lined up for the fall, despite taking ten months off.”
“That’s true.” I mulled it over. This decision wasn’t as permanent as it felt. I could quit for now and take some more time to make sure it was what I really wanted.I was free to change my mind later, and my background and experience would still get me a job practicing corporate law somewhere else.
The vise on my chest loosened; relief expanded my lungs.
“Okay. I’m doing it,” I said finally, a lilt in my tone.
