Page 84 of Morning Glory Girl
“I don’t know.” It was an honest answer.
Her mouth quirked into a small smile.
“Is that my homework for next time?” I asked.
“Sure is!”
I huffed out a breath.
“I often encourage my clients to think about their life goals not just in terms ofwhatthey want to do, but who they want to be. Think about that, too, while you craft your personal definition of success.”
I thought about what Luke saidto me on the beach in Menemsha, all the qualities he’d listed off, how it made me feel. Maybe I’d been thinking about everything the wrong way this whole time.
“Anything else on your mind before we wrap up?”
I nodded slowly as my stomach turned over. “I’m nervous about telling my parents I quit. And my brother.”
The only words I’d spoken after I greeted my dad, mom, brother, and Mimi at the restaurant were the ones conveying my drink order. Even though my dad initially told me to quit, when I took the medical leave instead, I got the sense that he was relieved. At the time, I was too. But now that I’d done this about-face, I didn’t totally know what to expect from the man who had always taught me to strive for big things. I wrung my hands under the table while we waited for our drinks to arrive. That spot behind my sternum where my throat met my lungs pinched, making it that much harder for air to get through. A deep breath in through my nose, and then another, and it bent to my will and released.I’m getting better at that.
As soon as my grapefruit Paloma appeared in front of me, I said, “I quit my job.”
My dad raised his eyebrows. Drew’s blue eyes focused on me like a camera lens. My mom patted my leg under the table. Mimi sipped her drink nonchalantly—it wasn’t news to her.
Before they could ask any questions, I launched into my defense. “I realized this summer that, while I wanted to be a BigLaw partner someday, it wasn’t worth everything I felt like I was giving up for it. I’ve felt so much better not being tied to my phone, beholden to so many demands. Sounds crazy, but I feel like I can breathe more easily than I have in years. I feel healthier. And I want to have time to pursue other passions and enjoy my time with my friends and family more.” I caught my dad’s eye and forced a smile.
“I’m working as a babysitter and have enough to get by for now. I’ll have to figure out something for income eventually, but I feel like I will.”Maybe someday I’ll even be able to sell my novel.“Worst case scenario, I regret it in six months and get a job at a different law firm or private equity firm.”
I let out my breath and shrugged.
“Okay,” my dad said.
“Okay?”
“Yeah, honey. It sounds like you thought it through. And I know how miserable you were at that job. You already seem happier?” He raised his eyebrows again, this time with a smile.
I smiled back, genuinely this time. “I am.”
My mom patted my leg again.
“Good for you, Val,” Drew said.
I didn’t know what to make of his tone, but I was too relieved by my dad’s reaction to dwell on it.
“Do you need money to bridge the gap? I know we didn’t have a ton to spare when you kids were growing up”—he glanced at me and then at Drew—“but we’re doing pretty well now.”
I couldn’t take money from my dad. “No. But thanks, Dad.”
Mimi lifted her cocktail glass. “To new beginnings.”
We all brought our glasses together over the top of the table.
Throughout dinner, I caught my dad and my brother looking at me with a hint of concern in their eyes, but they didn’t say anything else about my career decisions. Maybe they were disappointed, despite what they said.
Or maybe they were just worried about how I was going to support myself going forward.
I was a little worried about it, too.
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