Page 45 of Unraveling Rain
Luckily, Ruin doesn’t think anything of it and just smiles.
“Of course. You’re part of a close-knit family, and you want to contribute to its story. In this case, honoring your grandfather by matching his accomplishments in a sport that means so much to both of you.”
I nod. She’s right. I don’t want to be just Randy Wozniak’s grandkid. I want to be Xander González—Cup champion, respected athlete. Not just another nepo baby.
“Is this something you’ve talked about with your grandfather?”
I immediately shake my head, releasing a deep breath. Here we go.
“I have a great relationship with my parents. Being their only kid made us very tight. There’s nothing I couldn’t bring to them growing up. Even if sometimes we didn’t see eye to eye, they always listened and respected my opinions.”
“That’s wonderful,” she says, taking a few notes. “Have you ever talked to them about his pressure?”
“Yes and no.” I chuckle, tugging lightly at the back of my neck. “My dad knows. He played baseball, not hockey, but he gets it. Apparently, Gramps had a hard time when Mom started dating a guy who couldn’t skate and was from another country. He worried Dad would sweep her off her feet.”
I shake my head. It sounds so silly to me now, but I’m sure things looked different forty years ago.
“And what did your dad tell you?” Ruin asks, still watching me closely.
I lean back, closing my eyes.
“He said to talk to Gramps.” I pause, then add, “But I didn’t.”
I know I’m drowning in a glass of water. I know Gramps would understand if I never won the Cup.
“What’s on your mind right now, Xander?” Ruin asks gently.
“I’m afraid of failing. I don’t want to disappoint myself,” I say without thinking. “Yes, I want to honor my family, butI also want to prove something to myself. That I’m good enough.”
I exhale, and somehow, I feel lighter.
Ruin is grinning like the Cheshire Cat. “There you go. That wasn’t so hard, right? I find this behavior to be common in a lot of athletes.”
She pops a cucumber slice into her mouth and keeps going. I’m hanging on every word.
“Competitive by nature. Driven by routine. Constant goal setting. It gives them purpose.”
She’s right on the money. Again.
“The thing is, Xander, just because we make plans and set goals doesn’t necessarily mean we’re going to achieve them when—or how—we expect. Some people take a straight path. Others go through winding or unpaved roads. Some realize along the way that their original goal isn’t achievable anymore and need to pivot.”
She pauses, letting that sink in.
“So what are you saying? I need to rethink my goals?” I ask. There’s a hint of panic in my voice.
“That’s something only you can decide,” she says. “All I’m saying is that it’s okay if it takes you longer to become a champion. Or if, eventually, you decide you want to focus your energy on something else.”
She smiles again, calm and reassuring. “There’s no right or wrong answer here. You have to do what makesyouhappy.”
I let out a breath. For the first time in a while, the path ahead doesn’t feel so foggy.
An alarm blares. Ruin hurries to silence it.
“Our time is up for today, but I really want you to think about what your goals are now. Because being an athlete at twenty-four is very different from being one at thirty-four.”
She arches a brow playfully.
“You’re your own worst critic, aren’t you?” she adds out of the blue.
