Page 19 of Rose and Shadows
“That’s not exactly the way it happened. That’s a wild oversimplification and fucked-up framing. We were dealing with an extremely high-level magical attack. And Cassius, KaiandRyker were all compromised too. Even Ketheron. Remember me being thrown clear across the forest?”
“It’s not just a one-off thing for me!” she yelled, tugging at her hair. “Sorin murdered me and Sylas killed himself to save me. Kai and Cornelius risked themselves too. All to save my stupid ass! All because of me!”
“That’s not—”
“Then even before that, Cassius tainted himself forever to tether me and bring me back from death, the very thing that created the Soul Brand! He lost his True Celestial status to save me! He became Fallen!”
“He became Fallen for way more than that. He was already on the chopping block before he even first arrived on this plane to train Ariana. Sylas told me that and his intel comes straight from Kai, somebody who was in the thick of it all back then.”
“I was still a factor. Saving me was still a factor. All these people… all of you… all making so many sacrifices, all enduring so much pain… because ofme.”
“You’re rewriting history. You realize that Cassius is only still alive because of you? You demonstrated massive power by pulling him out of the Celestial Plane when he was trapped there during the Severance. That night when Rennick attacked Sylas and our reckless necromancer had been on one of his vigilante missions and overexerted himself and he was desiccating, we only got him to that serum, only accessed it too, because of you. It was glossed over with everything else that happened that night, but, yeah, you savedhislife. You’ve calmed the volatility of Sylas fucking Morgrave! More times than you even realize. You changed him, helped him regain his humanity. You changed me. You made me feel safe, made me feel loved. And you sure as fuck have changed Cassius—majorly. This thing that we have between the four of us—it’s all you, love. It wouldn’t have been possible without you, it wouldn’t have grown into the special bond that it is without you either.”
She stilled, staring out at me, awestruck.
Had she really not seen any of that?
Her trauma had definitely been triggered, I knew that. The nightmare with Morien had exacerbated it majorly.
But this was the first time she’d shown any evidence of it impacting her—beyond her coming to me twice a day for a whole lot of rough fucking.
She hadn’t begged me to hurt her before, though. This had to be it coming to a head, or maybe at least starting to leak out.
Shit.
Her shoulders slumped and then she sank to the grass.
She blew out a breath and drew her knees up to her chin, wrapping her arm around them, as she played with the grass with her free hand.
I went to her and sat down beside her.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured.
“For expressing your feelings?” I stroked her hair. “Don’t pull a Sylas on me. Express away.”
A smile broke through. “No. I’m sorry for abruptly ending our sexcapades.”
“You’re the one who put the kibosh on their own orgasm. No apologies needed to me.”
A little chuckle sounded from her. She slapped my chest. “Oh, shut up.”
I grinned and wrapped my arm around her, tucking her into my side.
She melted into me. “Thank you… for what you said… reframing things.”
“Notreframing, just framing it accurately. You’re so very far from being a weak link and you deserve to know that, to recognize that, and to feel it down deep, Velra.”
She eased back a little, just enough to look up at me, while not pulling from my embrace.
“What?” I asked gently, as she beamed at me with a look I couldn’t quite place.
I waited with bated breath when she didn’t immediately respond.
Or for several long moments.
And then she swallowed hard and a beautiful smile spread over her face as she uttered, “I love you.”
I choked.
